User:Avsbertonneau/Sumerian creation myth/Hurtbreak Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Avsbertonneau


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * The draft has not been published yet.


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Sumerian creation myth - Wikipedia

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

As I don't think the sandbox draft has been created quite yet, I will just leave suggestions from my review on the article itself.

In the lead section, perhaps it might be good to include more information on how this specific Sumerian creation myth fits in with all the others. For example, because this article's name suggests it is the definitive "Sumerian creation myth", what makes the Eridu Genesis version more definitive than the other creation myths mentioned, like the Barton Cylinder? Adding more information about how this specific myth relates to and fits in with the Sumerian creation stories may be useful to give the reader a better idea of its place and significance.

For an article about a creation myth, it mostly seems to focus on the flood myth aspect of this story. The summary discusses a little about the creation process, but unlike the flood myth portion, there is no section dedicated to going into more depth about the actual creation portion in this myth. If there is enough information about it, it might be a good idea to try adding a section like this, providing more information and detail about the gods and the where, why, when, and how of the creation process.

The Ziusudra and Xisuthros section of the article stood out to me as seemingly unnecessary. I'm not sure what this section adds to the information about the Sumerian creation myth or Ziusudra's relation to it that wasn't already discussed in the flood myth section. Seeing as Ziusudra has his own article already, this section may either be unnecessary to the Sumerian creation myth article, or is missing information that would justify its significance to this article.