User:Awatson723/Parkinson's disease/Djward21 Peer Review

General info
https://dashboard.wikiedu.org/users/Awatson723
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Awatson723/Parkinson%27s_disease?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Parkinson's disease

Evaluate the drafted changes
The article could benefit from better organization and structure. Currently, the information is presented in a somewhat disjointed manner, jumping between different symptoms without a clear flow. It would be helpful to arrange the symptoms in a logical order, such as grouping motor symptoms together and non-motor symptoms together. This would make it easier for readers to follow and understand the different aspects of Parkinson's disease. Some sentences and phrases in the article seem unclear or require further clarification. For example, the sentence in italics regarding bradykinesia's impact on motor activities needs to be rephrased for clarity. Additionally, there is a question raised about the term "persons" used in the context of formal assessment, which could be substituted with a more commonly understood term like "individuals" or "patients." The article would benefit from additional citations to support the claims made about the symptoms of Parkinson's disease. While there are some numerical citations provided, such as "[37]" and "[40]," it would be helpful to include specific references to reliable sources that can be accessed by readers. This would add credibility to the information and allow readers to explore the topic further if desired.