User:Axlra/Mount Willey/OTatro Peer Review

General info
Axlra
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Axlra/Mount Willey
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Mount Willey

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: The lead has not been updated to reflect your changes. You could add a sentence that says that there are lots of trails there. Since the article as it is now is fairly short, you could also split up what is already there into its own section and part of a lead. Then the lead will not be super long.

Content: The content that you added definitely fits in with the article. You could add a section about the biodiversity at Mount Willey, which would give someone reading your article an idea of what animals or plants they might see there if they visit. It would also connect the topic to our class a bit more.

Tone and Balance: I didn't notice any places in your article that seemed biased or not neutral. Good job with this!

Sources and References: I only saw that you added a few new sources, so you could add more in as you make edits to your draft. The intext links worked, and I like how you linked other wikipedia articles. I noticed that it was a little bit unclear which sentences that you wrote go with your citations, so you could say "according to..." if you are about to write a few sentences with information from the same source. I am sure that everything you added is from one of your sources, but this would make it more clear. I tried to find some peer-reviewed sources for you, but none of them seemed very helpful. You could always go to the library and ask them for help though! If you end up finding good sources, you could also add citations to the pre-existing article to back up some of that information.

Organization: Your writing is very organized. You could change the formatting of the "Mount Willey Trail" heading to make it less big than the "Connected Trails" heading to show that the Mount Willey trail is one of those trails. The only grammatical correction that I can see is "The Ethan Pond Trail covers a longer distance, and is classified as part of the Appalachian Trail." doesn't need a comma. You could reorganize the information that is already there, but what you added looks good.

Images and Media: You could add a picture of one of the trails that you talked about if you can find a good one.

Overall: Good job on your article so far. What you wrote is worded very well and is definitely relevant. You could add another section to it since the article is pretty short right now.