User:Axolotl3/Jaguars in Mesoamerican cultures/Votawh Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Axolotl3


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Jaguars in Mesoamerican cultures
 * Jaguars in Mesoamerican cultures

Evaluate the drafted changes
I don't think you've created a draft, so this is going to be a peer review of the article as it currently exists on wikipedia!

Lead

Aspects of the lead are repetitive in how they describe what jaguars are. For purposes of this article, moreover, the reader doesn't need you to tell them what a jaguar actually is! A better way to organize the section might be to link to the jaguar page earlier on and boost the second paragraph further up (which describes the importance of the jaguars to Mesoamerican cultures). Since the article is so short at this point, a long lead is not super helpful. There's also some runon sentences towards the end of the lead.

Content

I've really pointed out most content errors in other places: the biggest problems are in the lead & the lack of sources everywhere else.

Tone

Jaguars and the Maya


 * The first sentence "Integration of the jaguar into the sacred and secular realms of the Maya is proven in the archaeological record. " seems awkward to me, in the sense that it's almost too definitive.
 * Other sentences further on in the article have some of these same problems: they're writing from the perspective of the Maya, instead of an impartial wikipedia editor.

Sources

This article is quite short on sources.


 * Both of the Olmec sections feature missing sources when they refer to things supposedly known about the Olmec civilization.
 * A lot of the discussion of maya folklore in the "jaguars and the maya" section is uncited!
 * There are ZERO citations in the Tehuantepec and Tecuanes dances sections. Yikes!

Organization

Since this article is a discussion of jaguars in different cultures, it seems most useful to organize the article by civilization/place.


 * The discussion of "Jaguars and shamans" should be a sub-category of the Olmec section, to make it clear that it's Olmec shamans who have this relationship.
 * Likewise, the 2 sections at the end should probably both be under the same section.

Images & Media

I have no problem with these! You could add a picture of Tehuantepec if you want.