User:Azuraiii

Hi! My name is Joshua. I've learnt to introduce myself with my full name, as introducing myself as 'Josh' tends to elicit the response, "Is that short for Joshua?" I used to introduce myself as Josh, attempting to make my introduction as easy as possible for most. But with such a common follow-up question at the tip of every woman over the age of 65's tongue, I figure sacrificing my precious breath and using up two additional syllables does, in the long run, save more time. Ironically, I have just wasted the average person 32 seconds (and counting) explaining my own introduction. You're welcome.

Before we continue, I'd like to address some of the 'Joshua' misconceptions. I know many of you may wish to bash on elderly women more than I already have, but asking if Josh is short for Joshua isn't entirely pointless. While most Joshuas may be Joshs, not all Joshs are Joshuas. I know someone who's full first name is 'Josh', and I can't even begin to imagine just how complex his introduction must be! Elderly Woman: "Oh, Josh. That's a lovely name! Is that short for Joshua?"

Josh: "No."

How I Get Stuff Done
White noise is the underdog of focusing techniques. I'm a professional procrastinator and an avid perfectionist, so while the average Nobel Prize recipient may thank their mum and their Year 11 chemistry teacher, I thank white noise. I've tried everything else, from the noises of nature, birds singing and rain falling, to ASMR videos of keyboards tippity-tapping away satisfyingly. But nothing soothes the soul like white noise. Honestly, I couldn't even begin to tell you why. I love the sound of rain. In fact, I frequently use natural wallpapers on my computer to mimic rainfall, and I enter another dimention entirely when the sky opens up and water buckets down onto tin roofs above. But the distorted drowning decibels of white noise put me in overdrive. I will caution, white noise is not a one-size-fits-all solution. Some of my work still never gets done (or even started) dispite white noise blaring in my ears. But hey, at least I wrote this Wikipedia page!

Yeah, Science!
No one asked for this, but I've been thinking: how does a random, droning, fuzzy frequency force me to focus so fantastically? [TBC]