User:B10003792/Heavy industry/Lindsaynandm13 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

B10003792, Mnguyen02


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Heavy industry - Wikipedia


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Heavy industry - Wikipedia

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

Reword the Lead section for clarity. First paragraph is closely worded to this link: https://corporatefinanceinstitute.com/resources/knowledge/economics/heavy-industry/ but was not cited. The writer should have given a clear definition of heavy industry. I do not feel that I know what the article is about from the lead. In the second paragraph of the lead please provide sources for worker accidents for modern day heavy industry.

Content

Add a section on heavy industry history. The overall content of the article does not read fluently and does not show level of sophistication needed. For example, "From the late 19th century through the mid-20th, as the chemical industry and electrical industry developed, they involved components of both heavy industry and light industry, which was soon also true for the automotive industry and the aircraft industry. Modern shipbuilding (since steel replaced wood) and large components such as ship turbochargers are also characteristic of heavy industry." These sentences do not follow a fluid pattern and does not make sense. All mentions of history should be left in a separate content. Rewrite types tab completely and each type needs to have a citation. Does not clearly define economic strategy, writing is off topic and unclear.

Tone and Balance

The content is neutral. There seems to be no bias in the article. There is no clear viewpoint represented. The content added does not attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another.

Sources and References

Some sources do not work and others are not referenced at all. There are not enough sources in the lead and "types" sections.

Organization

The heavy industry Wikipedia article is very disorganized, from sentence to sentence the structure is all over the place. It is not concise, clear, and easy to read. There are many grammatical and spelling errors.

Images and Media

No, the images does not enhance the understanding of the topic. Add images for each particular industry like aerospace, ship building, steel production, etc. The images are not well captioned. The images adhere to Wikipedia's copyright regulations. The images are laid out in a visually appealing way.

Overall Impressions

The article needs to be improved for clarity. Adding definitions and a history section could elevate the article.