User:BRAAAAK

There once was a clan of hetero-Germanic human life forms, enigmas of common culture. These that are entitled "Fou Fou Ha" have developed from simple bacterial life forms, toy-like amoebas of filth and rot. It was ironically also from this same strand of organism from which humans have developed, particularly Canadians.

Living in vivid reality for the past 213 years, these creatures have made common human existence ask: "Why?". They are not divine in nature, but come from the lowest class of human existence; these who are known by men today as "Meth Tweakers". Although they are not divine, they do worship their own deities. Those who are Stratika Donquisha Von Streep, for those of are of BREEP BOOP. She is of jacky, dinosaur and too too. Additionally, the BRAAAKS worship warlord Nicholas Cage who hails from what is now Slovenia, (COMMIES!) and sets a high standard of living for the BRAAAKS. They live a very luscious band subtle life except the opposite of that. They live in houses made of adobe, like the clay kind, in the arctic tundra. They find their way down to human civilization by latching onto the hulls of boats in the oil business who bring this imported chemical into the United States, and other well developed nations around the world. They then proceed to detach themselves from the hulls, and scurry off into the sewers.

The BREEP BOOPS dwell in primitive structures similair to an insect hive, which lie beneath the city streets of developed 21st century human cities. These two different breeds of Fou Fou Ha live in relative proximation of one another, yet do not live a symbiotic life by any standards. In fact, the most common reaction that either breed has to encountering one of opposite breed is to violently hurl large, obscure objects at one another in an attempt to obliterate one another. Throughout the centuries, the Fou Fou Ha have developed a challenge competition amongst one another based off of this instinctual behavior. The game begins with a BRAAK at the bottom of a large hill, who must try to clamber its way up two the top whilst a variety of BREEP BOOPs on the top of the hill fling boulders downwards in an attempt to thwart the BRAAK. The rare BRAAK who successfully makes it's way to the top of the hill is promptly decapitated, of course, and is then accused of cheating. The game was designed so that it was virtually impossible for any Fou Fou Ha to ever win. This is an annual tournament which is a cultural custom for the Fou Fou Ha to observe, and to compete in.

These two species of Fou Fou Ha, BREEP BOOPS and BRAAKS have very different mannerisms. Those who are of BREEP BOOP tend to move in a slow and painfully cumbersome flail-walk, and are generally unable to control their body movements. Those are of BRAAK move in a rapid, choppy and mechanical motion, and are constantly exploring all surfaces both tall and short. The BRAAKs are certainly the more erratic, and frighteningly powerful breed of the two, yet the BREEP BOOPS, moving in their zombie-esk fashion, hold a different type of terror. One should not be deceived by their sluggish antics, for they are as cunning as a fox, and do not hesitate to commit heinous crimes against humanity, but only in massive groups. Alone, they are utterly useless. They are also very patient In nature, because its not like they have any complex thoughts or angst flowing through their useless brains, so they have nothing to be anticipating. For this reason, they are able to calmly set traps to ensnare their victims, and will wait cunningly for as long as it takes for some poor souls to walk into it's ambush. Once they have a sufficient amount of individuals in their entrapment zone, they proceed to net them up, and flail-beat them into submission, and then until (bleeding and broken), they perish. The BRAAKs tend to mindlessly, yet highly efficiently obliterate their targets, and/or anyone who happens to get in their way. They really have no control over their own inertia, so they blindly chop their way through their victims. That is of course providing that they are without their manufactured armament of arm-cannon like weaponry.

There is Gertrudis: a Tarzan/Dolly Parton hybrid. She is a pixie dreamweaver being who regularly invades the dreams of all Fou Fou Ha, and is a harbinger of doom. She hails from Slovenia, and boasts a rather dykish affect, such as the Grannie Gestapo, except a bit more satanic. She has been known to also make several appearances in Fou Fou Ha mythology. Although not much is known in regards to the stories which the Fou Fou Ha have used through the years to teach their young the morals of their culture, common anthropologists today all know of Gertrudis. The story of the ultrabosom2000+, that in which Gertrudis unleashes the wrath of her gratuitously enormous breasts upon the Fou Fou Ha because they were practicing bad public sanitation principles. For this, she came down from the heavens (In human understanding), and forced the idea of the pottery toilet, a bedpan-like pot used for removing Fou Fou Ha waste from inside of their dwellings. To this day (January 18, 2011) the Fou Fou Ha dedicate inordinate amounts of their resources towards the creation of pottery imprinted with the fat booda-bitch icon of Gertrudis. This is, quite illogically, an important symbol for Fou Fou Ha metropolitan sanitation standards.