User:Babs subs/Trilobite/OTatro Peer Review

General info
Babs subs
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Babs subs/Trilobite
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Trilobite

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: Your article is very long, so I don't think that you need to add very much to the lead, but you could just add a sentence summarizing what you wrote about.

Content: The content that you are adding is definitely relevant to the article, and it is up to date since all of your references are from 2023. I don't think that there is anything else that you need to add since the article is already so thorough. You could look at some of the other parts to see if there are minor edits to make though. I saw in the lead that it said "all trilobite orders except the Proetida died out," but "went extinct" might be slightly better.

Tone and Balance: The content that you are adding is very scientific and doesn't contain any biases that I could see. Great job with this section!

Sources and References: I saw in your note that you are going to fix this, so I won't say too much, but make sure that if you have several sentences in a row that are from the same source that you make it obvious that the whole section is from that source. My article and the other ones that I reviewed have a few sentences and then a citation, but it looks like the citation is only for the last sentence at times.

Organization: Your additions are worded very well. I noticed just a few grammatical corrections, but nothing major at all.

First paragraph:


 * Take out the comma after "incola" in the first sentence.
 * You could change "a small shelled species now extinct" to "a small-shelled extinct species".
 * I would end your first sentence after digestive tract, and then start your next sentence "This indicates durophagus predation, which focuses on..." This way you don't repeat durophagus predation and your first sentence is less of a run-on.
 * Does trilobites need to be capitalized? I am thinking that it doesn't, but I could be wrong.
 * You could change "having potential glands" to "potentially having glands"

Second paragraph:


 * I don't think you need parentheses around PPC-SRuCT.
 * Make sure to change the + in Ca+ to a superscript.
 * Capitalize "the" in the fourth sentence
 * You could change "currently being" to "is currently"
 * Add a comma after "Upon death"

These edits are super minor, and I know that you would probably see them when you edit your article anyway, but sometimes it is easier for someone else to see them. I hope this helps at least a little bit :)

Images and Media: If there are any images from the sources you found, you could definitely add those, but I don't think that you need them.

Overall: The part that you are adding is really good so far! I agree with your comment in the beginning completely, and I think it is good that you are adding in research, especially since it is so recent. Good luck!