User:Baldvegan123/Poltergeist/Laurenharper02 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Baldvegan123


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Baldvegan123/Poltergeist
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Poltergeist

Peer Review
Lead:


 * They added to the lead section. Their explanation made me intrigued about what the rest of the article is about. One thing I would point out is that in the introduction paragraph that you are adding to, you give many facts. While they are interesting, I am not 100% sure the introductory paragraph needs them. I would fix that by just pointing out small things that the rest of the sections of the article are going to talk about. Again,I believe you did a wonderful job of grabbing your audience's attention, but that is something I would keep in mind.

Content:


 * I believe that the content is super interesting and relevant! Awesome job! I definitely will be looking forward to reading more about this topic in the future.

Tone and Balance:


 * I did not see any personal opinions and you kept the topics neutral. That is difficult to do when you are writing about something you are interested in, good job!

Sources and References:


 * I did not have access to your bibliography, so I would make sure to double check your sources and make sure they are reliable.

Organization:


 * I did not come across any grammatical errors. I am unsure about this, so maybe ask Dr. Vetter. When you added to the section "Ed and Lorraine Warren" and you listed cases that they investigated, do those need to be in quotation marks? I have no clue, but that would be a question I would possibly ask.
 * You stated new facts and added new information in a way that was not wordy or hard to understand!

Images and Media:


 * No added images or media.

Overall Impression:


 * I believe you completed this article draft successfully. All of your content was relevant and I feel as though if it is eventually added to the actual Wikipedia article that it would make the article better. You kept your information neutral and you organized the facts in a way that was easy to understand. Wikipedia is a great place to start research on a certain topic and I feel as though researchers will want to look further into Poltergeist after reading this Wikipedia article. When I read this sentence in your introductory paragraph, "The manifestation or occurrence of a poltergeist is usually associated with a house or a physical object. Rather than a possession which deals with a person or animal being taken over by a demonic presence." I definitely wanted to learn more about it, so this content could be relevant in the "Paranormal" section or in its own separate section. Overall, I think you did a great job!