User:Banjaloupe/CTA Scale Test

The CTA Scale Test is a multiple-choice, DSM-IV-certified diagnostic criterion for determining one's placement on the Closeness-to-Abba Scale (or, CTA Scale), a widely accepted medical model. The CTA Scale is named for a Mr. Cliff Modlin, colloquially referred to as "Abba" by peers and acquaintances. The test can be administered online or in person, however due to funding cuts in recent years, medical practitioners often are unable to provide the paperwork necessary.

The CTA Scale Test is in no way affiliated with the Chicago Transit Authority, the California Teachers Association, or the Chinese Taoist Association.

Background
The CTA Scale was recently developed by an international team of researchers and physicians, who each contributed their own medical expertise to arrive at the current system used today. The online test itself was created after the waning personal popularity of the international team of researchers and physicians caused them to move to Wikipedia, in the hopes that notice of their internationally supported research would get them more grant money. So far, this tactic has proved unsuccessful. Then, due to the subprime mortgage crisis and ensuing recession, the international team of researchers and physicians filed for extreme bankruptcy.

Test
The CTA Scale Test is best taken in one sitting, and after a good night's rest. Otherwise, the results show a trend towards a higher AQ (Abba Quotient) than if the test were taken under normal conditions (Snoop et al, 1994). This is known in the CTA Scale community as the "Snoop Effect", which should not be confused with the Stroop Effect. Nonetheless, with the Snoop Effect in mind, the examination itself suffers from no major administrative flaws. The test below is from the current 2009 version.

CTA SCALE TEST (2009): BEGIN EXAMINATION HERE
Where are you currently located?  Personal studio Home theatre Bedroom On the couch, snoozing 

When is the last time you made tea?  <li>I have never made tea</li> <li>1 week ago</li> <li>1 day ago</li> <li>Good idea! Who wants some tea?</li> </ol>

<li>How many documentaries (or documentary-style films) have you watched in the past week?</li> <ol style="list-style-type:lower-latin"> <li>None</li> <li>1-3</li> <li>4-10</li> <li>There is one on right now, let's watch</li> </ol>

<li>How much would you like some cookies right now?</li> <ol style="list-style-type:lower-latin"> <li>Not at all</li> <li>Somewhat</li> <li>Very much</li> <li>Nom nom nom...hm?</li> </ol>

<li>What is your current hairstyle?</li> <ol style="list-style-type:lower-latin"> <li>Simple buzz cut</li> <li>Shoulder-length</li> <li>Afro</li> <li>Let me go look in a mirror...</li> </ol>

<li>What is the highest-level canine-related award that the dog named "Doobie" has won?</li> <ol style="list-style-type:lower-latin"> <li>Municipal</li> <li>Regional</li> <li>National</li> <li>Galactic</li> </ol>

<li>When the going gets tough, what do you do?</li> <ol style="list-style-type:lower-latin"> <li>Work hard and pull through the mess</li> <li>Take a step back and make a detailed gameplan</li> <li>Stick to short-term goals</li> <li>Chuckle, then smile faintly (chuckle optional)</li> </ol>

<li>What do you find the most exciting?</li> <ol style="list-style-type:lower-latin"> <li>Trying a new type of tea</li> <li>Setting a fire outside</li> <li>Homemade sushi</li> <li>All of the above</li> </ol></ol>

Scoring
Count up the number of (d) responses, and divide by the total number of questions (in this case, 8). This is the estimated Abba Quotient (AQ). Most scores fall between 12% and 37%, and scores of higher than 87% should be cause for alarm, and prompt immediate medical care. Or, a quick check in the mirror: You may in fact be Mr. Cliff Modlin and have happened upon this quiz. In that case, results should be discarded as you have a 100% AQ. We should have mentioned that earlier.