User:BargeWoodland/Battle of Mantinea (362 BC)/CoolQuokka Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

BargeWoodland


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:BargeWoodland/Battle_of_Mantinea_%28362_BC%29?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Battle of Mantinea (362 BC)

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think that your article is great with the direction that you're going in. I was a bit confused by the bolded first paragraph because of how it's presented to show that you already know the battle before the background and start to it. Also in the background I don't think the City of Athens has a gender unless you're referring to a specific leader from Athens who is a woman. Also adding the information about the Arcadians in the battle would add more information on how they were able to support the Thebans and possible commanding officers from the Arcadians. The battle part it would be important to note the opposing side of the Thebans as reading through it I could only see the tactics that the Thebans used and not the Spartans and Athenians. I think also reorganizing the information for the aftermath would be important as I was confused by the timing that Epaminondas had been slain and it sounding like he died at a different location and not at the battle. One more thing to add is that you can insert images into the sandbox through the insert button unless the photos are copyrighted.