User:Baron-Von-Bareback

FORTH VALLEY CHARACTERS

Forth Valley Characters is a fictional novel written by the Baron, including fictional characters in the setting of Forth Valley College.[[Category:]]

Craig "Simmo" Simpson

"Hot Tub" Hassan

"Big" Jim Seater

Simmo

The character of Simmo is a colourful one, his story begins in the Army where he spent over 20 years dicking around and managed to achieve the rank of Sargeant-Major, but was demoted due to a sexual harrasment incident, cite "Simmo's Top Ten". After recieving his degree in Electrical Engineering while in the Army, Craig dedicated the rest of his life to pursuit of Time-Travel so he could reclaim the time he had wasted in the Army. Tragicly the experiment went wrong and a huge explosion left Simmo with his now trademark goatee and 'Statue of Liberty' style hair. The accident changed Simmo profoundly, for those who knew Craig before. As to the usual tracksuit get-up he once wore, had now been changed for shirt & tie, BOSS-belt buckle combo we all know today. A more serious side-effect from the accident was the hallucinations, in the form of being stuck on the Kincardine Bridge, dead-locked in traffic when there was no car to be seen or his presence at Clackmanan College, when everyone know no such college exists! Recently Craig has been working on "Simmo's Big Book of Banter and One-Liners", a collection of one-liners and humour Simmo has amassed over the years. And if he isn't working on his book, he likes nothing better than a bit of numbercrunchin' or adding 'Innit?' at the end of every sentence.

Hot-Tub Hassan

Hassan started off as a French/Libyan national trying to rouse up a revolution in Morroco back in the 70's. After teaming up with Carlos the Jackal, Hassan proceded on an orgy of violence, rape and hot-tubbing. Following his escapades he eventually found himself in prison, but Hassan quickly had followers and eventually amassed to what are now commonly known as the "Bouneabi Tigers". Following their release from prison, Hassan eventually created a massive drug and hot-tub empire stretching from Libya to Forth Valley; where he managed to create a legitimate front as a lecturer at the local college. Now at the top of his game, Hassan likes nothing better than to relax in his hot-tub, maybe a bit of Multi-Sim and bitch or two and let the money pile up.

"Big" Jim Seatter

After the 'Big Crash of 87', where three Electrical Engineers tragically died in a car accident. The body-parts of the three engineers were put together to create the ultimate Electrical Engineer, Big Jim Seater. The experiment was carried out on top of Forth Valley College during a lightning storm, with a massive lighting rod and a PLC. The experiment worked, but at a cost. Sure the beast was alive, but his brain was missing something.... Richie had forgot to put in a latch before he uploaded it onto his PLC. But Big Jim loves nothing better than moon-lit walks on the beach, shouting at mice with his shirt off or arguing with himself. One of his dreams includes sending a rocket, loaded with radioactive waste up into the atmosphere and explode it; creating a dirty-bomb.

Crazy Bastard.