User:Bartteks/Sandbox


 * Hello,


 * I'm sorry to be getting back only this late again. As to your new rewrite... I don't have many comments about it. It may sound silly, but to me reading about this gruesome murder has been something of an ordeal and an extended affliction. It was a real relief to have finished translating that section of the article.


 * I must say that the text of the entire heading looks a bit different in my version, because I felt obliged to incorporate information from other English Wikipedia articles to do with the subject of Manson murders. I did so because those article either don't exist in Polish Wikipedia or are really short, and so the Polish Wikipedia reader wouldn't have the chance to get some of the more important circumstancial information from the related articles. (I already dread the prospect of having to substantiate those "borrowed information" with citations and references. ;)) Also, I've actually finished translating that bit before you made the rewrite.


 * OK, enough ranting. Going down to details... well, maybe I'm of a manipulative type, but I actually preferred the shorter version of the quote on the "begging and pleading". I think it makes more impact as embossing the blunt indifference and a nonchalance about killing a human being. In my version the quote comes in a close succession to that "I have no mercy for you" one (as a kind of exemplification of that mercilessness).


 * But, since we're at it, let me point to you that the wording that you give of that other quote -- i.e. "Look, bitch, I have no mercy for you. You're going to die and you'd better get used to it." -- doesn't seem to appear anywhere in Bugliosi's book. This exact wrding seems to be fairly common on internet pages, but none of them can be seen as quite reliable a source. As far as the Bugliosi's book is concerned, I found the following versions of that utterance:


 * - "Look, bitch, I don't care about you. I don't care if you're going to have a baby. You had better be ready. You're going to die, and I don't feel anything about it." -- this is from the way Virginia Graham related Atkins' jailhouse bragging that had eventually led to the arrests.;


 * - "I looked at her and said, 'Woman, I have no mercy for you.' And I knew that I was talking to myself, not to her . . ." -- this is from Atkins' testimony before the Grand Jury;


 * - "And you looked at her and you said, 'Look, bitch, I have no mercy for you.' Is that right, Sadie?" -- and this is from a question Bugliosi asks her during the trial, which she answers positively. There seems to be no other mention of that utterance in the book and since I haven't been able to find trial transcripts anywhere online it's been impossible for me to find Atkins' original statement comprising that quote.


 * OK, and now two more things regarding Atkins:


 * 1. In your rewrite, it is said that Atkins' admitted to having stabbed Sharon in her Grand Jury testimony. This is actually incorrect both in view of the Bugliosi's book and the Grand Jury testimony transcripts That can be found  here. Atkins bragged in front of her inmates, but in her first time before a jury she tried to soften her profile somewhat, saying that she couldn't kill Sharon and only held her down, that she found it taxing to return to the house to make the bloody writings, etc.


 * 2. I only now notice that the present article states that Atkins was offerred immunity from prosecution. Well, that is incorrect either, I think. I'd have to look up this bit, but I'm positive that the deal was she would get the prosecution's forbearance from seeking the capital punishment for her. (I've just found that I had taken this information from the Wikipedia article on Susan Atkins; the information is referenced to specified pages of the Helter Skelter book).


 * This is all from me on the subject for a moment. Once again, sorry for delaying my response. And once again sorry to be pointing out those things rather than making corrections myself, but I don't feel myself qualified enough to dabble in FA's at this point :). Cheers! Bartteks (talk) 15:26, 30 January 2010 (UTC)