User:Bashi12/Video game addiction/AshTheProtogen Peer Review

General info
Bashi12
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Bashi12/Video game addiction
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):User:Bashi12/Video game addiction

Evaluate the drafted changes
I love how clear, concise, and neutral your draft is. I personally don't really know what else you could improve. You have what seem to be good references and honestly I am gonna try to follow the way you wrote your draft and apply it to my own. The only thing that I could possibly think to change would be maybe adding a bit more information to the lead? That might undermine the body of your draft though so I am unsure if that advice is even applicable. The only other thing would be more references that have used autoethnography and found success? I apologize if what I wrote didn't help much but that's because it feels so well written to me that it doesn't really have anything that needs to be changed much.