User:Bassdude30

Sparky Horton aka the coolest dude in america and the second coolest in the world. The first being held by Phil Van Harper.

THE EARLY YEARS

Sparky Horton was born april 23,197something in Salem Arkansas at the Fulton County hospital. He is the son of guitarist and singer/songwriter Dennis Horton and Susan Horton. The brother of Chad Horton and Scott Horton. He began playing bass guitar at age 7, and saxamaphone at age 10 while in Thayer Elementary School in Thayer MO. During this time he was the bass player for a local radio show called Whistle Stop Theater. While in the nineth grade he was the founding member of "On Tap" a band from West Plains MO. After High School Sparky Joined the Army.

THE ARMY INCIDENT

Early in his carreer Sparky showed signs of becomming the coolest dude around by single handedly stopping the assanation of the prime minister of croatia by playing a bass solo that lasted nearly two hours, but rocks the world still yet to this day. After his tour over seas he was asked to join a funk band out of atlanta georgia named the infamous flying armadillos

ONE FUNKY DUDE

During a performance with the armadillos, sparky had the oppertunity to meet his favorite bass player, bootsy collins. at which time bootsy gave him the secret of the funk. to this day he is the only other bass player to know it. Sparky used his new found funkiness for good when st judes hospital asked him to play for a bennifit. a deal was made that for every hour he kept people danceing 1,000,000,000,000 dollars would be donated by the father of the modern computer himself bill gates. who untill that night was the wealthiest man in the world, haveing danced for 48 hours nonstop. children all over america have named sparky as the coolest man in the world. But this was soon to be challenged by a man named Phil Van Harper.

DONT BE SUCH A JESSIE

In the winter of 2007, a guitarist named williford martin asked sparky to be his bass player in a newly formed group. they were to record the theme song to the amercian reality television show the surreal world. the song "possum tooth" debuted at the # 3 slot on the american billboard charts. after a short tour to premote the album sparky realized that playing television theme songs just wasnt, as he put it "diggin the right chile" so he left the spot light of musical fame to move back to arkansas. within his first year back home he met another guitarist, jessie bore, and drummer cody "juice box" plotter to form the jessie bore trio. a stricktly blues and soul band. this era of sparky's musical life would be known as his "dark period. after months of practice sparky realized he was playing in a blues band and became disilusioned with music entirely,. after just one year with the jessie bore band sparky hung up his guitar and quit the music business forever.

DOWN GOES THE CHAMP

In the fall of 2009 the title of the coolest dude in the world was taken from sparky due to a challenge being forfieted to challenger Phillip Van Harper, of googly moogly transylvania. Phiilip van harper was the coolest ice sculpter in the baltic mountain region. it has been recorded that van harper was able to sculpt the exact likeness of tony danza and kathy griffin in less than five minutes. and a nearly exact likeness of jake thompson. sparky horton hasnt been located to comment on the recent loss of his title, nor has he been seen in public for the last three hours. the search for sparky has been an ongoing case and is still open.