User:BattIe5tar/Exogenous DNA/Donnarahgoshay Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

BattIe5tar


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:BattIe5tar/Exogenous_DNA?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Exogenous DNA

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead
First, I like the graphic on the side! It's nice to have an image to visualize what I'm reading about. I think the introduction is great- it goes over what exogenous DNA is, it's purpose, and how it is introduced into a cell. It's definitely science jargon heavy, so if there's a way for you to make it easier to digest for lay people, I would recommend doing so.

History
Nice introduction to the history of exogenous DNA. How did Fredrick Griffith observe exogenous DNA? It's kinda vague and I'm curious to know what technique was used and how they knew it was exogenous DNA. I like that it leads into how scientists began the era of widespread genetic modification on animals.

Transformation
I don't fully understand what is being said in the 2nd sentence: "Bacteria need to be in a certain physiological state to successfully take up exogenous DNA, which is described as one of competence." so perhaps rephrasing that would be helpful. The 1st sentence of the 2nd paragraph mentions "commercial functions", however the rest of the paragraph only discusses research functions, nothing about anything commercial. Maybe adding a section regarding commercial functions would be cool!

Transgenesis
This is an awesome section, and I learned something new today! I didn't know this is how transgenic animals were created.

Sperm Cells
Nothing here yet, so I can't really comment.

Overall, I'm not seeing many changes between the current Wikipedia article and your draft. However I think the addition of the "Sperm Cells" application is an awesome idea and I'm excited to read more about it! I think the content looks pretty complete, so not much I can say about it. With regards to your sources, I would love to see more updated articles (from recent years) about updates on exogenous DNA (if any). Perhaps a review paper could give you more insight and more information to add as well.

-Donna