User:Bayjohenderson/Foreign relations of Senegal/MegStern Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Foreign Relations in Senegal


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bayjohenderson/Foreign_relations_of_Senegal?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Foreign relations of Senegal

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think the contributions you have written so far are great! ECOWAS seems like an important organization to discuss in more depth than what is included in the original article. I also liked learning about foreign relations in Senegal during the Cold War, which is an important part of recent history, especially in many African countries. It looks like you have a good mix of sources (academic and news) and overall your tone stays neutral.

I’m writing my article about Agriculture in The Gambia, so I am interested to learn about ECOWAS involvement in The Gambia. I also want to now research whether the bridge built to connect with The Gambia has had any impact on agriculture or agricultural trade in The Gambia! You have given me some more to research for my article, which I’m really grateful about! In the ECOWAS section, I think the second paragraph where you discuss the Trans-West African Coastline Highway is really successful. You clearly explain the contributions to infrastructure and transportation provided through ECOWAS and you explain why these contributions are important. In the Guinea-Bissau Civil War section, it could be helpful to provide the year as well as the outcome of the war. This could help readers both have more context for the conflict and understand the impact of Senegal’s involvement.

I think the Cold War section is a great contribution to the Post-Independence Foreign Relations section (and I like that you renamed the section as well so it would make more sense to add more to it). My main suggestion for this section would be to add a bit more at the end about the outcome of, or fallout from, the Cold War in Senegal. You could also talk about the larger impacts of Senegal’s relationship with Iran – this is a really interesting paragraph that, if expanded a bit, I think could benefit from having it’s own subheading.

In both the ECOWAS and the Cold War sections, there are some sentences that should probably be cited but currently are not (i.e. the first sentence of the second paragraph in the ECOWAS section and the last sentence of the Cold War section).

In terms of the rest of the article that already existed before your contributions, I have a few thoughts on things you could work on to update/improve it as well. The entire Lead section needs sources, so I think it would help the page if you could either find sources to backup the claims already there, or rewrite the lead section using your own sources. In the same vein of editing the lead section, there isn’t much context for who President Léopold Senghor is or when he was president, so I think it could be helpful to have a bit more of a general introductory sentence/paragraph before getting into specifics (i.e. explaining who colonized Senegal and when Senegal gained independence).

I also think that it would be worth proof-reading for grammar and checking for sentences in need of citations for the entire pre-existing article since there are some areas in need of editing. You could help the page a lot by updating some of the writing to make it more clear and adding more sources to backup the claims made in the article.

I think you’ve done an awesome job so far and I’m really excited to read your final article!