User:BeauFinn1/STEM pipeline/ECM0815 Peer Review

General info
BeauFinn1
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):STEM pipeline

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * I recommend extending the lead and bolding the first use of "the STEM (Science, Technology, Math and Engineering) Pipeline" so it's easier to notice at first glance.
 * Good focus on historically underrepresented groups in STEM. Maintain this approach throughout the rest of the draft whenever necessary.
 * A great example of not showing bias in your work. Feels very neutral and factual.
 * "STEM programs focus on increasing social and academic supports for students. STEM programs may also focus on bringing students together with professionals in their field" can be shortened to "STEM programs focus on increasing social and academic supports for students, and may also focus on bringing students together with professionals in their field."
 * In the United States section, the line "as recently as 2010 the results have been evaluated as "poor" can be reformatted as "results of these efforts have been evaluated as 'poor' as recently as in 2010" or just "results have been evaluated as 'poor' as recently as in 2010."
 * Have you added any new sources? It might be helpful to keep them in the sandbox (both in-text and in a "References" section) to get an idea for the final format and organize your information.
 * Overall, this is a well-written start to your contribution. Just try to avoid redundancy in certain parts like the "STEM programs focus..." and see if keeping your new sources in the sandbox is more helpful.