User:BeckMarin/Head Start (program)/Jeslyndv Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

BeckMarin


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:BeckMarin/Head Start (program)


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Head Start (program)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Eligibility Review
$17,420 for a family of 2; $21,960 for a family of 3; $26,500 for a family of 4; $31,040 for a family of 5; $35,580 for a family of 6; $40,120 for a family of 7; $44,660 for a family of 8 as of 2021 I suggest creating a table so it would be easier to read. You can use the one I created. The federal poverty line is absolute and does not change from year to year, except to account for inflation. From reading the article, I may be interpreting this incorrectly but I interpreted the article as that the federal poverty line measurement is absolute and if it is then I would make that explicit in the writing.

Access Review
There is not enough government funding to provide Head Start for all eligible families, so to enroll in Head Start, families must apply and then be chosen. My example is ugly, but I would try to say for example “In the source found or in Head start, they have found that there is not enough funding therefore families have to apply etc..” Something within that just helps keeps that neutral tone of voice. Head Start only covers families living below the federal poverty line, but there 65% of children under the age of 6 having both their parents (or one parent, if they are a single parent) in the workforce. I would remove ‘only’ like the discussion we had on class with Huzaifa’s article to help with the neutrality.

Rewrite suggestionP: Head Start covers families living below the federal poverty line, but there 65% of children under the age of 6 having both their parents (or one parent, if they are a single parent) in the workforce. For two-parent households, childcare is the most expensive cost outside their rent or mortgage; in perspective, the median percent of income that goes towards childcare is 30%. I would start it with, ‘Head start reports from a survey,” For two-parent households, childcare is the most expensive cost outside their rent or mortgage; in perspective, the median percent of income that goes towards childcare is 30%.

Final note, I know this is still the draft, so my comments are probably irrelevant, but it was great reading about your chosen article and learning more about this program. Overall great choice of information to add to the wikipedia article, it specifies more on the Headstart program to bring light in the logistics of the program where the article fails to highlight! When reading the original wikipedia article, it really is in need of information regarding the poverty line and those who receive the aid. Can't wait for the final product.