User:Beck Woollen/Moche culture/Kaljumaegi Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Beckwoollen


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Beck%20Woollen/Moche_culture?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Moche culture

Evaluate the drafted changes
Since you're just focusing on the collapse section of the article, I assume I'm not concerned with the lead. I appreciate your succinct review of the pervading climate change theory. One thing anal Wikipedia editors may be out of pocket about is when you say "Some scholars;" I've often seen a little footnote on similar notes demanding "Who?" You could also add a citation to the sacrifice claim, as well as clarify whether or not such sacrifices involved humans, animals, material, or a combination, and if the latter two categories, what specifically. I might rewrite the penultimate two sentences as "...may have jeopardized Moche agriculture, which relied considerably on canal-based irrigation..." but this is just me and is totally not a pressing issue. And finally on this paragraph, it opens by saying "there are multiple theories" pertaining to the collapse of Moche culture. But only the climate change theory is elaborated on. Granted, in the second paragraph you hint at other possibilities, but if there is more scholarship on this end it would be an appropriate and productive addition to the section. The final sentence in the second paragraph could be cited, but other than that, I think you've done a really nice job. The tone reflects an on-brand Wikipedia-style neutrality, and your writing is clear and concise. Well done!