User:Becky10/Surdism/Hapalow Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing? Becky10
 * Link to draft you're reviewing: User:Becky10/De'VIA

Lead evaluation
I was a little confused at first but from my understanding you will be adding a section about Surdism to the De'VIA page? This information is expanding on the De'VIA manifesto? Though, your section looks great so far but can see a lot of areas for improvement.

Content evaluation
Seems like you found a lot of information on your topic. Unclear about some quotations marks - your second paragraph started with a quotation mark but not sure where it ended.

Tone and balance evaluation
There were some things that did not create a neutral tone with using "We, Deaf, …." I would make it third person.

I do not agree that how you stated "Surdism…. encompasses and connects people who master sign language". I think master the language is not the reason Deaf people connect. Deaf people themselves connect through this through shared lived experiences. Not all Deaf people sign, so I would reword this. Again, this would need to be in a neutral tone.

Sources and references evaluation
There are no sources/references cited

Organization evaluation
It is a bit disorganized and hard to follow. I was little overwhelmed with all of the information. I would clean it up and make a few short paragraphs.

Images and media evaluation
No images/media