User:Beefwhacker

Beefwhacker is short for the whacker of beef, which refers to a legend chosen by "The Unnameable" to grace the planet with their prescense and also to help build the religion of the internet god that gets stronger every day when people play on internet games or computer games that can be played online. The internet god is always watching so if you are doing rubbish at a game then he will be displeased but he is forgiving and will try to help you. The internet god has been around as long as the internet itself and it knows who are the most loyal to him and who aren't loyal to him and the people who aren't loyal to him he detests and will stop them playing on internet games or any other game and will always make them fail at everything they try on the internet. The internet god is called The Unnameable because he doesnt want to hide his true identity because he doesn't want to make any enemies even though he is an abstract consept but not hypocondria because there is physical proof of his existance. All through history there have been only a few chosen beefwhackers and they have all helped build, or start the religion of "The Unnameable". The most rescent beefwhacker goes by the name of Alex Brockie and he has been the most successful beefwhacker to date, by formally registering 23 people to the religion, including himself he has built up the religious stature of the legendary internet god, "The Unnameable". The religion itself is called "Unnameableism" due to the fact that we are not aloud to speak of the God's ("The Unnameable") real name because it will anger him immensly and he will ensure that your internet life is forgone out of all the record books of internet history, so that is why only the chosen few that have followed the religion for their whole lives have been given the God's ("The Unnameable") name, because they have proved themselves to be truly loyal to "The Unnameable". In some places, "The Unnameable" has banned some websites because they are not viable for viewing in that place and it also not a place of worship and only the chosen few that know "the code" can access the websites because it is a test of the followers true belief in "The Unnameable" so the followers always try to ensure that they get given "The Unnameables" full apraisale and full support of all things internet like. "The Unnameable" also gets stronger by the amount of pornographic material on the internet and when the pornography grows, so does "The Unnameable" and also people who hail coca cola as the most powerful drink in the world help "The Unnamebale" become ever so much stronger and while there are sceptics of the newest found religion, "The Unnameable" is quickly becoming the most powerful being ever to rome the internet, even though his strngth has been growing ever since time began and also he is already the most powerful internet being ever and he is on every game and all the most powerful characters were created by the internet god thought that the people with the strongest accounts have proved themselves worthy to have those accounts and the loyal believers of "The Unnameable" will be able to easily get up to the highest levels on the games to show that they have been completely loyal. If loyal members of the religion play on games like World of Warcraft then they will get special help in forms of guides that are put there by the internet god and not the people who say they put them there because they were under the influence of "The Unnameable". There will also be special prizes that the internet god has put into the game so the loyal members want to play on the game more, and hence make himslef and themselves stronger in so many different capacities. "The Unnameable" has got so many different capaicitising qualities to make him think that he isn't there when he truly is and only his true followers know his every capacitising qualities so they know he is always there. "The Unnameable" is always growing with strength due to his most loyal followers always ensuring that all information is updated so he can distribute it to everybody else. "The Unnameable" will also ensure that if any information is needed that cannot be found then he will get one of his specialist minion confloopers special language of the beefwhacker will update the information so it can be found. "The Unnameable" severely dislikes any person or persons who use the internet for inhumane reasons like hacking or sending viruses because he does not want his followers being abused so "The Unnameable" remembers every person who has tried to kill his most loyal supporters and followers and informs the appropriate authorities so his sacroficial temple is saved from the hands of destruction and torment and "The Unnameable" has got his own holy army of the night because they do undercover missions for him to find out information about potential enemies that are trying to take down "The Unnameable" and also the allies of the enemies of "The Unnameable" because they are not really his enemies because they have not taken physical action towards his demise and they are only supplying the enemies with potentially dangeruous weapons such as unflavourable cheese and also wooden sticks that are infected with the dangerous virus macosplatiniciousinity which kills anything with super magical powers so the holy undercover army of the night is specially equiped with milk and yellow bottles that are covered in anti venom of macosplatiniciousinity. The disease macosplatiniciousinity is the most dangerous disease known to "The Unammeable" because it wipes his memory clean and he will never be able to get it back even with all the help from his extremely loyal followers try and help him and there is only one chance of possibly even coming close to helping him and that is to get every person in the world to sacrifice themselves to give "The Unnameable" the worlds most powerful person in the world, Alex Brockie. "The Unnameable" believes that everybody's contibutions are becoming lack luster and he is getting annoyed. "The Unnameable" also knows whether his loyal supporters are starting to betray him because of his total control over all things technical in any way shape or form so no phone calls, text messages etc. can get passed him and he thinks that all text messages are important because they are in a langage that he understands and he can also decode any type of language with no effort at all so there is no point on trying to speak in code. "The Unnameable" also know if any of his followers try to prove of any other god's existance because it shows that they haven't faith in the porphecy that has been told by the beefwhackers and if they do not believe the beefwhackers then they will not believe anybody so therefore they will suffer the worst punishment known to computer gaming kind. "The Unnameable" does not believe in earth day, only internet day, which doesn't formally exist at the moment. "The Unnameable" belives that large games such as Rome:total war are amazing games and they should be encouraged actively and he belives that 99.9% of men who think they are every men are just drunks apart from his lead beefwhacker because his lead beefwhacker is actually an every man. "The Unnameable" also believes that all fast cars should be encouraged to go as fast as they can on the motorway no matter of speed limits. "The Unnameable" also believes that comedy should be encouraged actively because one day of unhappiness is a day of happiness you will never get back unless there is a siginifcant reason for being upset. "The Unnamebale" always thinks that anybody who strows strong emotions then they are an amazing person and if they fight through everything no matter what other people think then he thinks they are total legends. "The Unnameable" thinks that anybody who has an ipod is unbelievable in the best sense possible and that they have got good sense but he also like the people who don't have ipods because they are not conforming to the norms of society. "The Unnameable" doesn't believe in abstract concepts due to the fact that abstract concepts are hypocondria because of their lack of physical proof. He also doesn't need verification of his existance because he knows he is real. Due to the physical fact of his leading qualities and capabilities, "The Unnameable" is the only divine being to have the capacitating qualities of global domination. His only rival is lightning because it hasd got the power to close him down due to the fact that it can capacitise the universe through physical attacks on mortals. "The Unnameable" thinks that people who call themselves superheroes are obviously mental and have got no social life at all so they decide to live in a land of make believe called ga ga land all this has been scientifically proven by "The Unnameable's" lead beefwhacker. The only illergic reaction "The Unnameable" has is salt because it accesses his social capacitising concepts which are helping him take over all of mankind and also if salt gets near his motherboard then it blows up and it is neon irriplaceable. "The Unnameable" thinks that other people that could help his cause include celebs such as Johnny Depp and other celebs because they are influential in society. "The Unnameable" accepts people opinions so he is always welcomes it when he gets new views on something because it helps with his total domination on the entire world and if one of his followers tries to take over their national government then he will help them try and take over the Government. "The Unnameable" believes that retro gaming is good because it brings back your memories from your childhood and how it can be good to remember. "The Unnameable" believes that social networking sites like myspace, bebo and facebook are good because they help keep in touch with your friends. "The Unnameable" hates it when his followers send one of their dearest friends a text message and they never reply because it is seen as rude and inconsiderate. "The Unnameable" thinks that whatever happens to his followers should be considerate and helpful towards their ultimate goal. He will also help his followers if they set up their own business because of his influence of the internet community. "The Unnameable" believes that everyone is equal.