User:Bellaruby12/Environmental issues in New York City/Planariaworm Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Bellaruby12, Anaeradze, Gcuties


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Bellaruby12/Environmental issues in New York City


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Environmental issues in New York City

Lead

 * The lead shows a good introduction to the topic of aggression in people from NYC, which relates to behavior
 * It lacks a solid introductory sentence
 * There is a brief description of the study of chemical pathways that cause aggression

Content

 * The sections about the connection between aggression, noise pollution, and air pollution are accurate to the theme of behavior and environmental issues on NYC. The section about mice population does not seem like it is related to the topic/doesn't belong in the article
 * The information added is up to date but there is only one source for the many claims in the draft

Tone & Balance

 * In certain parts the tone is not neutral, for example when saying "Every native or non-native New Yorker has had they day ruined by either a smelly homeless person on the train" and "subconsciously it brings the worst out of us". Those parts indicate the writer's personal opinions

Sources & References

 * Most of the article draft has no sources for its claims
 * The one source is accurately referenced when talking about aggression

Organization

 * There are multiple grammar mistakes that should be fixed


 * Some of the topics in the "other issues" section need their own separate headings

Images & Media

 * There are no images (try to add some)

Overall Impressions
There as a good amount of information regarding the connections between air pollution, noise pollution, and aggression in people from NYC which pertains to the subject of behavior and would work well in the article. There are a few issues in the draft like the grammar mistakes, lack of sources/pictures, and non neutral language which should be addressed before adding it to the article.

Thank you for your review---Ana Eradze