User:Benediktusrayo/Phenome-wide association study/Biubiu44 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Benediktusrayo


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Benediktusrayo/Phenome-wide association study


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Phenome-wide association study

Lead

 * I'm not sure if you're planing to keep the original lead from the article or add to it, but it seems that some of the information form the last paragraph on the original overlaps with the first part of "PheWAS Methods"

Content

 * Not sure if "PheWAS Methods" is the best title for the section. Reading it, it didn't really explain the method of how phenotype and genotype association are determined (refer to the method section for GWAS as an example). This might be more of a application example
 * Pleiotropy also seemed like another application example
 * Idk how important the Pleiotropy is to PheWAS but it might not warrant a whole dedicated section.
 * Wiki is more of a general overview regarding a topic and not a research review so the "Pleiotropy Study" is too specific about one particular paper
 * I wouldn't include too many subsections under Pleiotropy study. I think there's too much information between the method and result interpretation, it just feels like your trying to do a whole presentation of the Pendergrass paper rather than explaining why PheWAS was significant for this particular application.

Tone and balance

 * I think the first half is really good tone and content wise incorporating multiple sources to build a comprehensive overview
 * I would say the tone of the second half was natural but idk if just one source warrants that about of attention especially since its just an application example

Sources and references

 * You should probably check whether referencing specific paper (ex: Pendergrass et al) is allowed because I've never seen specific references unless that paper is very important. (like if that was the paper that first outlined the methods for PheWAS)

Organization

 * The method section under Pleiotropy study might be confusing (structure wise) with the PheWAS method
 * I would reword some of the sentences to be more direct
 * Theres some topics such as the concept of Pleiotropy that can be condensed since you can just add an internal wiki link to its own wiki page
 * Should incorporate more wikilinks so readers can quickly jump to a topic for more info