User:BenjCap/Forestry in Canada/Kedmvl Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

I am reviewing BenJCap.


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:BenjCap/Forestry in Canada


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Forestry in Canada

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead
BenJCap has largely kept the lead from the pre-existing Wikipedia article, but has made some grammatical changes to sentence structure. An example of a change to sentence structure is in the line "Extensive deforestation by European settlers during the 18th and 19th centuries has been halted by more modern policies. Today less than 1 percent of Canada's forests are affected by logging each year." was changed from "Extensive deforestation by European settlers during the 18th and 19th centuries has been halted by more modern policies, and today less than 1 percent of Canada's forests are affected by logging each year." . He also removed the sentence "Climate change is negatively impacting the productivity and health of Canadian forests" from the original lead, which was an unsourced claim. Its removal also makes the overall tone of the lead more neutral. However, he does have one spelling error; "Canada is the second largest exporter of wood produces and produces 12.3% of the global market share". I assume he meant to write "Canada is the second largest exporter of wood products, and produces 12.3% of the global market share".

Overall this lead is relatively long, however it does succinctly summarize the article as a whole. I would only recommend that that one grammatical error be fixed.

Content
Other than the grammatical changes in the lead, BenJCap is adding two major sections: Forest Management and Natural Disturbances. These sections contain a good overview of the different topics, and serve to greatly increase the coverage of the article. I believe that his contribution would benefit from increasing the information provided for wildfires, the mountain pine beetle, and the emerald ash borer.

Structure and Organization
I agree that these two sections are major sections, however I believe that sub-headings could be added to each section. For example, the Natural Disturbances section could have the sub-headings "Destructive Insects" and "Wildfires". The "Destructive Insects" could have the sub-sub headings "The Mountain Pine Beetle" and "The Emerald Ash Borer". This would allow for the reader to more easily find specific information in the article, and would increase the organization and clarity of the article.

Talk Page
There is nothing currently posted on his talk page. One subject which could be discussed on the talk page is the inclusion of a separate "Wildfire" section under the "Forest Management" heading.

Clarity
The additions to this article are well thought out, and clearly and concisely convey the cited facts. BenJCap has also made an effort to make the pre-existing article more clear by changing grammatical structures. This can be seen in the phrase "Extensive deforestation by European settlers during the 18th and 19th centuries has been halted by more modern policies. Today less than 1 percent of Canada's forests are affected by logging each year." which was changed from "Extensive deforestation by European settlers during the 18th and 19th centuries has been halted by more modern policies, and today less than 1 percent of Canada's forests are affected by logging each year." . This made the article easier and clearer to read.

Neutrality
These additions have a neutral tone, and an effort has clearly been made by BenJCap to remain neutral. This can be seen by BenJCap's removal of the unsourced phrase "Climate change is negatively impacting the productivity and health of Canadian forests" from the lead, as this created a negative tone towards the subject without citing a source. Another way to maintain the neutrality of this statement would be to simply add a citation to the statement, thereby legitimizing it as a fact and not presenting it as an opinion.

Balanced Coverage
These additions cover a wide range of topics, from pests to wildfires to Canada's Forest management. These additions compliment the preexisting article, and provide pertinent information on relevant and current subjects related to the overarching topic.

Sources and References
All references work, are up to date, and contain the cited information. Citations 11 and 12 could be manually re-named to display the title of the reports and not the title of the re-direction page. A reference which could be added to the Natural Disturbances section is one which gives a bit more background on how fires both positively and negatively effect forests in Canada.

Overall Impression and Suggestions for Improvement
These additions to the existing page add new and pertinent information which had previously been lacking. Some suggestions for improvement are:


 * Fix the spelling mistake in the lead
 * Add previously mentioned sub-titles and sub-sub-titles to the new sections
 * Add more information about the positive and negative effects of wildfires on Canada's forests ( see suggested citation )