User:Benjamin.aviles1/Violent crime

"Different countries also have different systems of recording and reporting crimes." Taken from "Violent Crime by country" section of the Violent Crime Wikipedia article. In this section, you can add the different countries that are mentioned throughout the article. The edit that could be is after "different countries". So the sentence could read "Different countries such as Australia, Canada, New Zealand, Europe and the United States all have different systems systems of recording and reporting crimes. Or the edit could be a new sentences and start with "These countries include" and then list all of the countries mentioned in the article. This could give readers an idea ahead of time of what countries and being focused on in this article.

"In October 2013, the Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) reported that violent crime (rape or sexual assault, robbery, aggravated and simple assault) rates for U.S. residents aged 12 and older increased in 2012 for the second consecutive year. The overall rate rose from 22.6 victimizations per 1,000 persons in 2011 to 26.1 in 2012. Most of the increase was in simple assaults. From 1993 to 2012, overall violent victimization declined by two-thirds, from a rate of 79.8 per 1,000 to 26.1 per 1,000." Taken from United States section of Violent Crime Wikipedia article. In this section,  additional content could be added. One source titled "Gender Gap Trends for Violent Crimes, 1980 to 2003: A UCR-NCVS Comparison" could be added here. Additional sentences could be "One gender equity gap on Violent Crime is taken from both the UCR and NCVS data sources that the United States uses. From 1980 to 2003, according to the UCR, women have been shown to be more likely to commit violent offenses, aka "criminal assault". However, murder and violence relating to sexual assault show little changes between genders."

"The first annual national survey of crime victimization in Australia, the Crime Victimisation Survey, was conducted in 2008-09. Personal crimes included in the survey are:

I have found a source that analyzes key findings from a 2004 Crime Victimization Survey In Australia. Instead of the first sentence one edit could be "The International Crime Victimization Survey (ICVS) is one way Australia analyzes crime. This way is done separately from formal police reporting and gives the citizens of Australia an opportunity to express their experience of crime that otherwise would not have been reported to the police. It is similar to the NCVS which is a survey that the United States does to estimate non-reported crime." Then, the edit here could be "The two major categories of the ICVS are personal crime and household crime." Followed by the original article's sentence that starts with "personal crimes included in the survey are:". After the list of personal crimes, the edit could add "Household Crimes that could lead to violent crime are: burglary and attempted burglary." Rates for households crimes were higher than personal crimes and this rate is calculated based off of every 100 people per 100 households.
 * Physical assault
 * Threatened assault (including face-to-face and non face-to-face)
 * Robbery (including attempted)
 * Sexual assault (including attempted)" Taken from Australia section of Violent Crime Wikipedia article.

"Prior to the country adopting the Australian standard for classifying offences (ASOC) in 2010, New Zealand's crime statistics had a category for violence that included homicides, kidnapping, abduction, robbery, assaults, intimidation, threats, and group assembly, while all sexual offences were shown in a separate category from violence." After this sentence, additional content could be "One type of sexual offense is Intimate Partner Violence (IPV). Intimate Partner Violence often stems from other violent tendencies/ behavior such as anger, lack of self-control and/or mental instability. There is a gender gap that is notable when it comes to Intimate Partner Violence. Men are more likely to be guilty of general violence while women are more likely to be guilty of IPV. Lack of self-control in men has a direct correlation on whether they are guilty of IPV or not while anger is more correlated to women on whether they engage in this type of behavior or not.

"During 2015, New Zealand Police changed the way it counted crime, changing from counting recorded offences to counting people victimised or those found to be offending. " After this sentence additional content could read "Substance abuse plays an infamous role in individuals becoming victims and violent offenses occurring. More specifically, when alcohol is present in a situation, violent crime is more likely to occur because it could heighten someone's aggression and ultimately cause them to behave in an irrational manner". This irrational behavior often leads to someone being a victim of one's poor actions which is why it is important to account for these type of situations. For example, women (those being victimized) are disproportionately more likely to be victims of rape while men (those found to be offending) are more likely to commit this violent act. Instead of just simply recording the offense, analyzing who exactly is the victim and who exactly is the offender can be more helpful in understanding the nature of violent crime along with pointing out any trends/patterns.

Under the graph shown in the United States section Of Violent Crime, Wikipedia.

A paragraph that could be added in this section reads " Racial inequality and socioeconomic status play an infamous role in the violent crime rates shown in the graph above. There is a direct correlation to violence in the poor areas of the United States. Areas that are living near the poverty line are more likely to contain higher rates of violence. Social and environmental factors also play a role in violent crime rates. In these poor areas, individuals may be forced to take a "survival of the fittest" approach or do not have the necessary means to provide for themselves or family in a legal way, thus violent crime is the only option.

Lead section change-

"Typically,[weasel words] violent criminals[POV? – discuss] includes aircraft hijackers, bank robbers, muggers, burglars, terrorists, carjackers, rapists, kidnappers, torturers, active shooters, murderers, gangsters, drug cartels, and others"

Instead of saying typically, the word could be replaced with a more definitive word or be left out completely. Instead the sentence could start with "Violent Criminals include:" and then keep the rest of the sentence. Also, instead of this long list of violent criminals, the list could be shorten into categories. For example, murders and active shooters are similar. Aircraft hijackers, car hijackers and terrorist could be another group. Rapists, kidnappers and torturers another category. Muggers and burglars another group. Lastly, gangsters and drug cartels are similar. Also, instead of listing these categories, it is also important to keep in mind the behavior of these violent criminals. A sentence here could be "Violent Criminals also include behaviors such as anger, lack of self-control, psychological/mental health issues and aggressive tendencies which causes them to carry out violent acts."