User:Benjamin.aviles1/Violent crime/Alexaneybold Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Benjamin.aviles1


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Benjamin.aviles1/Violent crime


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Violent crime

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The statistics in the second paragraph could use more references to where each came from. I was not sure if they all came from the second source that is cited at the very end of the paragraph or not. They also stop at 2012, I think it would be beneficial to keep going past 2012 and showed more recent statistics of violent crime, especially because the rates have changed. A few sources to find this information are through the FBI UCR and NCVS which can be found here, (By race) ; (By gender) ; And here is a link to criminal victimization generalized,

All of the sources are useful and reliable. They are all accessible and no links are broken or directed you to a “page not found” error. There was one that was not available to all audiences because you needed a university log in, in order to access the database.

It does not appear that any of the sources show any bias, they all lay out facts and statistics. Benjamin does a good job at explaining the statistics and putting the facts into complete sentences without forming a bias statement. His words come from explaining the statistics so if anything his viewpoint is coming and is supported by scholarly evidence, and is not biased.

I do not think there are any viewpoints over or underrepresented. In one paragraph Ben adds and names different countries in order to make a sentence more specific, therefore clearing up any underrepresentation that may have been there. He does a really good job at explaining and describing what certain criminal justice terms are, so that a reader with no knowledge of these words could understand exactly what he was saying.

There does not seem to be any distracting material. I believe that everything that was added was definitely relevant to the topic of violent crime. Because the article does not specify violent crime in the United States it is really good that there is other information about other places such as New Zealand and Australia. I feel like more places should definitely be added. There should not be any country missing on the list only because the article does not specify which areas of the world it is reporting violent crime on. It is a general post and I believe its ranking would increase substantially if every country and their violent crime statistics were included.

I like how Benjamin has more than one suggestion of how to alter sentences from the original article. I kind of wish that it were all retyped in his own words to show how he wants the article to be displayed and shown, without the suggestions in between such as, “the edit that could be after” or “so the edit could read”. I think it would be better displayed if a new paragraph were formed showing how he wants the entire section to be read.

However, overall, I really enjoy the ideas that Ben has created for this article. I really love how he took the time to explain things such as what the UCR and NCVS is, also when he defined Inmate Partner Violence, and all the statistics that were added throughout. As a criminal justice major, reading information displayed this well is very satisfying, but I also know that a person with zero knowledge of crime and the criminal justice system and its resources/terms would be able to comprehend and understand this article well.

Adding in more graphs and templates per each country would also strengthen this article. Even if the sections were small and straight to the point about violent crime in each country, I still believe it would be good to include and would eliminate any underrepresentation.

This article edit has been a really great place to start and it is exciting to see what else Ben will start to add as the class continues. I think this article has a lot of potential to be a great resource to educating people about violent crime all over the world.