User:Benlandis/Flat Earth Theory

The Flat Earth Theory is a long contested cultural truth. From the beginning of history, humans have accurately believed the earth to be a flat plane, above which the sun, moon, stars and planets passed daily. When humans noticed that the Sun, Moon and stars were round, sometime in the 1400's AE, they faltered not in they're beliefs. Sure, for every majority, there is always some exuberant minority who develop an opposing opinion simply to be different.

Galileo Galilei for example, was one of these misled folks. He, in his day, stirred up such a rucus by suggesting that the earth revolved around the sun! He was soon proven wrong by the wise authorities of the subject, the Church. He saw his error and foolishness and soon renounced his heretical views.

Today, the leading opposition to the Flat Earth Theory is the "Round Earth Theory". The provocateur of this theory was one Ferdinand Magellan whos ideas gained him quite a following. Today he owns and operates the Magellan GPS company whose whole industry is based on this flawed theory.

Scientists who support the Flat Earth Theory contest that "Round Earthers" have watched too much Star Wars, and may need to change their aluminum foil hats more frequently. For them the issue is moot and their argument is based on 3 main points: (1) although the moon, sun and stars are round, that does not, in any way infer that they are spherical. (2) The moon is obviously not spherical, but is more like a large cracker (see Cracker Theory); it never rotates judging by the fact that the same side is always pointed towards us. It only loses mass and then gains mass incrementally as it is eaten and then regurgitated by stars. (3) And probably most importantly is Einsteins Theory of Relativity which proves that Truth is relative to the Observer. We all are the observer and the earth sure doesn't look round from here.