User:Bennyboymania

Michael McWilsington

Michael is a ninety year old lady gaga fanatic. He has been referenced many times in the New York Times recently for exposing himself in public to a horse that he claimed to have thought was the thirteen year old daughter of the professional hambone player, Miles Rankins. His early life is shrouded in mystery. He is most commonly believed to have been born in Steamburg, Wisconson, to a welsh couple (Angie and Nate Flank). He was brought up to be a european farm journalist and was beaten mercilessly when he did not do well on his parents home made exams, which were of course written on eggplants. When he came of age, he followed the natural order of things and murdered both of his abusive parents, putting their carcasses in a massive suitcase that he still carries with him today. Little is known about what happened to his sister Gragne. Some speculate that she was involved in celebrity sex tapes later in life and passed away due to "Rockising out with her moccasins out." Michael progressed through life by feeding on the various scraps of metal and egg nog that he could gleam from kind citizens who saw him on the street. He now resides in Phillupsdaggersburgh, Scampville, with his 17 sons and his life partner, Chirpy.