User:Benomenon/Sara osbourn

General Information

Sara Osbourn was born in 1989. She was born into a socially awkward family whom enjoyed birdwatching, and daily orgies. Sara often prays to God in the name of her cat "Mr. Jingles". She frequently asks God to stop the cat from regurgitating on their kitchen table. She was taken the her junior prom at Lexington Christian Academy by Ross Hill whom was threatened to have his genitals removed if he did not accompany Sara that evening. On that Night it is said they lost their virginity to each other and fell in love. They now reside in Martin, Kentucky. They have started a polygamist colony together. Sara was known for being a socially awkward girl but, there is much more speculation than that.Sara attended Porter Memorial Baptist Church in Lexington Ky.

Significant Life Events
Sara was a schizophrenic who frequently engaged in bestiality. As a result she developed Herpes, and SIDS the primate form of the AIDS virus. She was accused of not handling snakes properly at Porter Memorial Baptist Church. She was caught in the act of inserting the serpents into her rectal cavity. The Student Pastor Kenneth Bruce [www.facebook.com/people/Kenneth-Bruce/503410521] was caught assisting her. Dr. William Hernard (AKA as Bill) brought her before the congregation for a public beating. She had a sexual fetish with being hit and kept stating "Oh Yes Spank me Daddy Bill! spank me!" She was excommunicated to Lexington Christian Academy where she began her Romantic relationship with Ross Hill.

Family and Social Relations
As enumerated above Sara was known as a very awkward girl. However while her social life was lacking that doesn't mean it wasn't interesting. She had an obsession with animals, of which she developed from bird watching with her father. Her father had Obsession with capturing the bird removing it's feathers and making sexual use out of it with the closest family member. He also sang in Porter Memorial Baptist Church's choir. She was known at LCA for being the "loosest screw in the stall" as quoted from Amber Eldridge a 2004 alumni Student who is now attending the University of Kentucky. She would pull young men in and charge them nominal fees for various abnormal sexual acts, such as linking the anal region.This was a activity Ross Hill said he enjoyed greatly in their free time.

Disclaimer
All information above is completely false and none of these events have ever occurred. If you went to Lexington Christian Academy or Porter Memorial Baptist Church you will find this extremely humorous. All Names and places are coincidence and none other than that.