User:Bethstfrancis/Narcissus triandrus/Lunderwoodsfsu Peer Review

General info


 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Bethstfrancis


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bethstfrancis/Narcissus_triandrus?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Narcissus triandrus
 * Narcissus triandrus

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

* Note: The content of each section will be discussed in the corresponding subheading, with additional subheadings added for Tone/Balance, Organization, and Overall Impressions

Lead
Nothing has really been added to the lead of the article. The introduction of the actual article itself is more concise and provides more information, such as the exact max height of the plant and the color/physiology about the flowers. The last sentence of the proposed changes to the lead is also completely redundant, since daffodils is a general common name used for many members of the Narcissus genus. Daffodils are not necessary the "mother plant" or the plant from which Angel's Tears are descended from.

Description
There is a spelling error in the second sentence. The word inflorencence was typed when I believe Beth meant to use the word inflorescence. The use of the word "truly" is also unnecessary. Instead, the sentence "Along with this, the plant is also an example of inflorencence, truly having hundreds of flowers inside the head of the plant, instead of just one" could be revised to something along the lines of "Narcissus Triandrus is also an example of inflorescence" or "Narcissus Triandrus is also an example of inflorescence, possessing many flowers on the head of the plant rather than just one". The general description focuses on the reproduction of the plant and thus, would be better suited to a category called "Reproduction".

The anatomy section is rather disjointed and should be written more in a paragraph format. Going based off of the list outline present in the draft, first the leaves should be described, then the root structure, then the stem, and finally the reproductive articles. More information is needed in that section in general, as most parts have less than a sentence of description and the sepals don't even have anything written about. There is also a type in the portion regarding the leaves of Narcissus Triandrus where the "a" is left out of Narcissus.

The reproduction section is lacking in content, although the information written in the general description as well as some additional information about the flower's lifecycle could fill out this section nicely. There is a strange section when discussing pollination which suggests the flowers aid the "blank" with pollination. I assume the word blank was just intended to be a placeholder, but I have no idea what word is supposed to actually go there. Speaking of pollination, some other information which may be relevant to the article and would help flesh out this subject is the flower's pollinators. Also, more elaboration is needed on the words "Specific, Chromosomes, Photochemistry" which are just placed under this section with no additional context.

Taxonomy
The draft simply says that it is "good in the original article" yet fails to identify which portion of the article covers taxonomy. This is especially vexing given that the original article doesn't even have sections. To correct this portion of the draft, you should find the information in the article which covers taxonomy and transfer it to this section, as well as identifying any further relevant information, such as which other members of its genus Narcissus Triandrus maybe closely related to and if its taxonomical status has changed over the years.

Distribution
The draft does very little to expand on the information not already provided in the article. One easy way to bolster this section of the article would be to talk about which countries Narcissus Triandrus is found in or if possible, provide a map of its range. Talking about what type of climate, how much rainfall it requires, and the soil type Narcissus Triandrus prefers would also be good information to add to this section.

Tone and Balance
The article has a very informal tone and is overall very scattered. It's very clear this is a very rough draft, and given that the topic isn't even related to this course, I'm not entirely sure you understood the assignment.

Organization
The draft does outline potential sections and subsections to add to the article, however the content underneath those subheadings is not very well organized at all and there are several words just pasted there with no explanation or further detail about them. Overall, the draft is confusing to read and understand.

Overall impressions
I hate to be harsh, but this draft feels very messy and completely irrelevant to the course. I would try to find a new topic ASAP. I went ahead and gave you a review like this really was what you were going to write an article about, but I'd try seeing what other topics you can find. You should try looking under the Science Fiction C-Class articles and stubs to see if there might be a relevant topic there that hasn't already been taken.