User:Beyond My Ken/Aprl Fools

Keyon Mobend:

Ladies and gentlement, boys and girls, human beings of all ages, races, creeds, and genders, I have the honor and the privilege of presenting to you on this auspicious day the Wikipedia editor Beyond My Ken as a candidate for administrator. I have known BMK - as he is wont to call himself - for my entire life, and I do not think that I have ever met a finer human being in that time, and his real life sterling qualities have translated directly to his efforts to improve this encyclopedia. I don't believe any of us have interacted with a gentler, kinder, more compassionate editor than BMK. His comments are consistently the soul of civility itself, and his corrections to the errant behaviors of other editors are always softly and humanely expressed. I'm sure all of us have developed images in our minds about the other editors we interact with, and when I'm discussing things with BMK, I always see a kind, angelic face across the table from me, occasionally taking hold of my hand, or putting his upon my shoulder in a comradely fashion to emphasize some erudite point of information. For BMK not only displays unerringly correct behavior, he is also probably the most intelligent person I have ever met, a near-expert on subjects as esoteric as quantum mechanics and ladies undergarments of the 18th century. I've long considered suggesting to the community that they allow BMK to edit without providing sources, since the chance of his being wrong is so infinitesimally small. Such a man, a paragon of virtue, a scholar's scholar, the epitome of what a Wikipedia editor should be, surely deserves the admin bit, if anyone does. Had we only a half-dozen more like him, we could quite possibly free up all the existing admins and allow that brigade of perfection alone to patrol our shores and keep the peace. We are so lucky to have him, and I feel blessed to call him "Friend".

Beyond My Ken:

Yeah, well, thanks and all that garbage, but I'm too frigging busy fixing shit edits to do this crap job right now, so, ya know, screw it. I dunno, maybe later when I've got some down time, but who'd wanna be a damned janitor anyway? I've already got enough keys.

Support:

Topping good man, best ever, good for the digestion. Before My Ken

Oppose:

As a matter of strict personal policy, I oppose each and every RfA self-nomination, unless I don't. Beyond My Ken

Neutral:

When the Kens have ironed out their differences, I might have a comment to make or a !vote to cast, but until then I'll just hang out here in "Neutral". I have to say I didn't expect "Neutral" to be a very large room painted light grey with nothing in it, including no furniture. There's nothing to sit on. "Support" has those comfy sofas, and "Oppose" at least has hard wooden Shaker-style benches. I'm happy that at least the floor is carpeted - not that grey indoor/outdoor industrial carpet is my favorite. It's kind of spooky in here, at least when you're alone: it reminds me of THX-1138, more Waiting for Godot than "Waitin' on the Robert E. Lee", so I sure hope they settle their dispute soon. - Between My Ken

Comments:


 * Recommend closing as WP:TOOSOON or WP:NOTNOW before I eat it. - Kenzilla.
 * On the principle of illegitimi non carborundum, I second that emotion. - Newyorkken