User:Bharp14/User:Bharp14/sandbox/Maxmattaaa Peer Review

General info
(Brianna Harp)
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Bharp14/sandbox
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Oral hygiene

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

(Lead in)

The article has alot of things that are done well throughout, there are very clear explanations about how mental illness affects our oral hygine in the heathcare world. One thing that really impressed me in the rough draft was the amount of numbers and statistics theren are starting from the first main paragraph. It is very clear what is trying to be stated and focuses on the important things. One thing that I feel was described very well was how important oral care is. One thing I would try to focus on is explaining the main topics a little more and how mental illness acctualy affects our oral hygiene. I feel like if it had more clear reasons why mental illness actually affects our oral hygiene. One thing about this article that helped me realize is that I need more numbers and show real world statistics.

(Lead Section)

Looking into the lead section of the rough draft by itself I feel satisfied knowing the importace of the topic due to the amount of reasearch and solid statistics. After reading through the entire article anf the lead again, it does a nice job of showing the important information and giving exactly what it needs to be able to explain the topic of oral hygiene. The lead definitly gives some good weight to the article, and there is nothing missing besides mabye a little more research if wanted.

(Structure)

The sections are all organized and very easy to read, with the main topics being bolded and underlined it is simple to tell what topic I am reading, I feel they are in a good order for the article to be read in. All of the main topics are a good length but if you want to add some more info in the "communites" topic it could use a little more research and lengthened. The Article reflects on all of the prespectives represented in the published literature, there are not any view points really missing that I know of, but if there are some more it could be helpful to add into the article. The Article could use a little more drawing to the conclusion and convincing, i feel there was not much convincing in the article.

(Sources)

There are plenty of good sources throuhout the article

(Images)

There are not any photos yet but when we are adding them it might be a good idea to get some in there.