User:Bherrin3/William Pulgram/Chaiteaboba Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Bherrin3, Corefire07, Jcappotto


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Bherrin3/William Pulgram


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * William Pulgram

Evaluate the drafted changes
"Career" section: Good content, neutrally written with a clear timeline of the different jobs and pathways he took. Sometimes, the language is slightly inconsistent as there's both language in the present and past tense. I would suggest writing the whole section in past tense instead of "he then joins..." since he's no longer in those job positions. Though this isn't technically wrong, I'd also change some "He, His" to "Pulgram then joined..." to create some diversity in the language used and to make the article flow better overall. There are a couple dates included in the text, but if you can find others that precisely tell the readers when he started/left the job, that would provide the readers with a more clear and structured timeline of his life. The text has a couple grammatical errors too, so I'd just quickly re-read over the main body -- "ensure" instead of "insure" about halfway down. Other than that, the content itself is useful and informative and provides clear details on Pulgram's life.

Also make sure your second link works -- I clicked it and it couldn't find the URL :)

"Projects" section: Lots of interesting content that goes into detail into the projects Pulgram took on. Neutrally written. Not sure if this important but maybe try using "Pulgram's firm did..." instead of "William did..." and re-arrange some of the paragraphs so that the article is more organized and his projects are written in chronological order. Also check the grammar in a couple places, I'm assuming you meant "remodelled" instead of "remolded" in the second sentence :)