User:Bherrin3/William Pulgram/SophiaGeyer Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Bherrin3


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Bherrin3/William Pulgram


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * William Pulgram

Evaluate the drafted changes
The "Career" section has solid information but I believe it could be organized differently. Because the first sentence is starting off the section, use his name (William Pulgram) rather than using "he". If a viewer were to randomly pick this section to read without knowing the context of the article they would not know who they are reading about. Also see if sentences that are currently separate would flow better combined.

There is lots of solid content in the "Projects" section but continue to edit it to see if it would flow better as a full paragraph rather than as a list. You could also try keeping it in the list format but changing the way each sentence starts to give the section more flow.

Overall good work!