User:Bidhi Mandal/Diversity in computing/Nsg2024 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Bidhi Mandal


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Bidhi_Mandal/Diversity_in_computing&oldid=1058323763
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Diversity in computing

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead:

terms like "above and beyond" and "making increasing diversity crucial" are not neutral. They have an opinion behind it

Factors contributing to underrepresentation:

"two main reported reasons" main is an opinion. someone may argue it is not a main reason. self-reported should be included as it was in the original article

"this is well supported by"  "That statistics is indirectly supported by a pilot program that was done to understand different elements that affect minorities during a STEM course which showed that increased mentorship and support were an important factor for the completion of the course." -- a little non neutral again

"Since workplace discrimination is a major cause that leads to the lack of diversification of careers related to STEM, making changes to that aspect will also help increasing diversity in the sector." see comment above

The tone of the additions are very consistent and informtaion added is great. One thing I noticed was that at times, it lost eutrality and seemed to more so be arguing something as opposed to informing about something.