User:Big Daddy Lava Tornado/1999 Luzon earthquake/Amoreland22 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Big Daddy Lava Tornado's (and their group members)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Big_Daddy_Lava_Tornado/1999_Luzon_earthquake&veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template&redirect=no
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * 1999 Luzon earthquake

Evaluate the drafted changes
Since a short lead section is the only content the article already has, I think the plan to add more general information to the lead section is good and hits all the key elements. The 5 W questions are an efficient way of determining what to put in the lead section and the basic info looks good to me. The addition of an impact subsection is a good idea and you guys have fleshed it out clearly with some seemingly reliable sources that have working links. I think the breaking down of "impact" into paragraphs for earthquake sequence, urban impact, countryside impact, political impact, and local population impact is a really good framework choice for organizing and getting into specifics. I can't tell if these subsections are included in the impact section alongside all the bunch of points of question and answer that make up the bulk of your drafted changes but I would suggest splitting the two up. Nice work on finding a second source on top of the one the article already has that mentions the notion of jellyfish causing a power blackout. Overall I think you have a good and detailed plan of information you want to add considering how sparse this article is and just have to elaborate on the unanswered points plus eventually organize it all into a non bullet point style. Suggestions I could think of would be finding relevant images to add (like of the damage) and maybe even discussing the tectonic history/past events of Luzon (something my group's article has a section on). This source might be helpful in regards to tectonic history if you want to include that. I'm not sure if you guys have to add any more than just a new section/s since your article is so short but your plan so far is solid!