User:Big Daddy Lava Tornado/1999 Luzon earthquake/PG2025 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Big Daddy Lava Tornado


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Big%20Daddy%20Lava%20Tornado/1999_Luzon_earthquake?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * 1999 Luzon earthquake

Evaluate the drafted changes
The Lead section of the original article hasn't been changed yet, but progress has been made towards editing it. The group wisely decided to include answers to who, what, where, when, and why in this section. As it is now, the Lead section doesn't include a one sentence summary of the event, so this could be added. The group should maybe consider shortening the lead section because some of the information in it may be repeated in later sections of the article. As of the discussion on October 20, the group has only added questions to each section of the sandbox. Those questions are a step in the right direction, so the answers that will be added will be effective. There is little to no substance in the original original article, so there has been no repeat information added by the group. This gives me the impression that the group is still in the early stages of writing the article. That being said, the group should try to include sections/subsections on all major aspects of this event. Further, images should be added (in the appropriate sections) that enrich the article and add visual power. The current bibliography only includes one source, but again this is likely because the group is in the early stages. The group should ensure that 2-3 secondary sources are included to adhere to the Wikipedia Notability requirements. You guys have made a good start! Can't wait to see the finished product.

˜ ˜ ˜ ˜ Panav

Nethaniel's Response
I appreciate your feedback! I'll definitely look into elaborating our Lead section. I will also try to incorporate images to give a better understanding of our major aspects of this event and hopefully will add a visual spark to our article. Our sources have been updated to more credible sources as well. Additionally, we are in progress of providing analysis on our questions that we provided and will finish them all shortly. All these changes will be in consideration and production real soon.