User:Big Daddy Lava Tornado/1999 Luzon earthquake/Surfer616147 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Big Daddy Lava Tornado


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Big%20Daddy%20Lava%20Tornado/1999_Luzon_earthquake?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * 1999 Luzon earthquake

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead review: lead looks like it is well planned and distributed for factual information. Could use better formatting when inputting in article. Possibly need to lesson some of the context in order to spread out other sections of the article to balance out the article itself.

Content review: looks clearly labelled and concise. needs to be more structurally built to support input into paragraph format. Needs more references in order to seem unbiased/ unaltered.

tone and balance review: could spread out the information more to make it so that the lead does not incorporate as much of the data as the main body. I.e make it "oversimplified" so it catches the eye of the reader while not being a long summary of the article itself.

organization: well organized and neatly spaced for future input. well placed for creating a paragraph. needs a bit of formatting into paragraph format if inputting into existing article in essay form

Overall: well planned and thought out. information for inputting is well gathered for brainstorming. Needs work on drafting into a paragraph format in order to put into existing article. needs more references/sources in order to reduce the idea of possible biased information.

Response to review - bigdaddylavatornado
Hey thanks for your input! Yes I think you caught us in the outline phase of our draft so please excuse the formatting. The idea of lessening context in an effort to spread load and balance the article is a good one. Since there aren't any subsections it would be a good idea to make multiple with the information we produce. The references point about seeming unbiased is a fair point and we'll have to try and find more sources for sure.

Your point about simplifying the header is an interesting one. I think we can definitely simplify the header once we build up a few body paragraphs to move the info from the header into and that will allow for a more linear reading experience.

Really appreciate the feedback! You've definitely brought some stuff up that we hadn't thought of, feel free to circle back around!