User:Bigbuddos/Emma Dunham Kelley-Hawkins/Baileyberhannan Peer Review

General info

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 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
The edits in the first paragraph as a little confusing, I would re-word just to be easier to follow.

Reword the disappearance sentence.

Change the transition to the "in the 1885" paragraph reads a bit condutriory.

I would make the publishing of her novels a new paragraph.

Good wording in the "her marriage" paragraph.

Good wrap up of her life!

"as a result" paragraph sounds a bit opinionated I would reword just to be careful

"Her work" sentence should start a new paragraph.

"while many african..." sounds like bias.

"this treatment" should be new paragraph.

Good novel summaries

Would do the number 50?

I would citi the Boston Globe statement just to backup your statement.

The last section needs some sources just because of the claims made.

Summary: I think you have a strong page and made impactful edits. At times your wording is strange, I would just go through to make sure what you are trying to say is clear to those that haven't done the research you have. Overall, your information is good but at certain places I would break it up just to help the reader out (see above). A few places, your word choices seem a bit bias, so just to prevent that I would rework so that it doesn't seem like your opinion is creeping in. Overall great work!