User:Biggy6288

Where babies come from?

Well to start with, babies, contrary to what everyone was taught while they were growing up, are made in factories and not conceived through sex. Babies are created by the combination of the companies: Johnson and Johnson, Gerber and Toys R' Us. They have a Big factory in North Dakota where they gather all the un-wanted puppy dogs and cut off their tail, then they unpack all the snails and frogs that were shipped in from forests in India. They then mash them all up in a Univex industrial meat grinder. The product is then fitted into a universal mold "Boy model #1516" and is placed under a heating lamp for 2 hours and then set in the oven for 25 minutes at 350°F. They are removed and let cool for one hour.

To make girls the process is a little different. Girls require the ingredients: Sugar, Spice and Everything nice. Mix the above ingredients in a small bowl until it has the texture of paste. At this point they add: huge egos, hard earned cash and, as with every girl model, the most important ingredient TIME. They continue to mix for 5 minutes and at this point they can add a pinch of "bitch" in accords to the clients personal order form. The substance is then placed into mold #163832377309 (current mold # is subject to change every .000001 seconds.) and baked carefully at 666°F for 2 minutes and then brought down to 333°F for the remainder of the 14 hour period. When finished they are set to cool for 15 minutes then flash frozen and set out to thaw before being frozen again before shipment.

Once the baby is complete, it is shipped in a standard 15" by 13" box to its mid-stage transfer point in Topeka,Kansas. At this location they are visually inspected for any problems that might have occurred during shipment. If problems are found then they are thrown into a pile and sent to Africa and India. If no problems are found then they are sent to small locations throughout the country. In order to purchase a baby you can visit this website (http://www.marthastewart.com/) or visit your local Bed Bath and Beyond. They are located past the "Beyond" section and located in a room managed by small dwarfs. Dont be mistaken by the room with normal sized dwarfs, the babies are in the room run by small dwarfs. Small Dwarfs are like normal dwarfs except they have one blue ear, and they are shorter.

Please relay the true way babies are made to everyone you know. The wild rumor that babies are created through the process of sex is preposterous and needs to be stopped once and for all. Sex can not lead to babies no matter what Black Magic voodoo you preform.