User:Binclima811/Common raven physiology/Nansimonious Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Binclima811


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Binclima811/Common raven physiology


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Common raven physiology

Evaluate the drafted changes
In the lead paragraph, it states that the common Raven is "incredibly versatile as a result of this distribution". Could you clarify what this means? I like how the lead summarizes what the article is covering in one sentence, but I think it could even cover a bit more.

In the previously published version of the article, there are a number of parts that I believe could use some clarifying, especially in the first section of the article body on "Habitat variation and physiological regulation," which has a confusing/potentially misleading sentences. For example, the paragraph under respiration that starts off about Fick's law of diffusion could use a little extra explanation. It states that there is a proportional relationship between the tissue sheet and the surface area. I am not sure what exactly this means, and it doesn't seem correct. If it is in regards to Fick's law, shouldn't this be about the diffusional speed?

In your sandbox, I love your work on the "environmental challenges on osmoregulation." It is well written, clear, and flows well. I did notice that your paragraph mentions hyperosmotic urine in coastal ravens, while in the pre-existing article, at the very end, the author discusses hyposmotic urine in coastal ravens.

The tone seems suitable in your writing, as do your sources. I was not really sure where exactly where all the additions are going to be worked in to the existing article, but I definitely think your work is going to greatly improve the content of the article. Super interesting.