User:BlerimBalaj/Decans culture

Decans Culture
This article is about the culture and traditions of a small town called Deçan that is located between Peja and Gjakova

Weddings
Earlier the wedding lasted three days but actually it began in the sense of initiating necessary preparations. Several days before washing and cleaning everything begins,including whitewashing the walls of the house, cutting the wood, and having all the necessary things ready. Three days before the wedding, the man of the house invite his kinfolks to discuss whom should they invite in the wedding. Apart of the people who will make the invitations, other people were appointed to serve in the wedding. In the next day all the people, friends, uncles and relatives and in the house the women continue preparations including the making of pies, etc. Cleaning the wheat for the "qyshkek" marks the beginning of the wedding. The brethren(village) girls and old women early in the morning, three days, lay the dinning tables in the courtyard and begin cleaning the wheat on them. At the moment singing and joy begin. The girls take up a tambourine or baking pan, as and improvised tambourine, and singing and dancing, clean up the wheat grain by grain. On the wedding night, people come for congratulations early in the morning. In th evening, those who were invited to the wedding come. They would bring presents with them: usually the women would bring pies and men two kg of sugar.Among the men various songs were sung in chifteli and lute and jokes were played on each other, while among the women two tambourine players sing rhythmical songs to which women dance.Ater they finish dinner prepared especially or the wedding by a cook the guests are sent to sleep. On the wedding day, the wedding guests eat an early lunch to be ready to arrive in time at the bride's house to take her away. As we said, the first to be on their wd were the women and the dowry cart, and the men took aff half an hour after. Upon their journey to and from the bride's house and back to the bridegroom's house the wedding-goers would throw cigarettes to the people they met in sign of respect. In two pairs of wedding-goers were met on the way coming from opposite directions, earlier the custom was for one side to stop and unbridle the horses to leave free passage to other side. The weedding-goers were led by the banner-holder. Someone held the flag from the bridegroom's close relatives or nephews. While the bride leaves her village she lies face down in sign of pain that she is leaving her birth village. As the wedding-goers approach the house the wedding people that stayed behind expect them with tambourines. First to enter the courtyard is the bride's car and it stops there for her to come off. Then comes the dowry car and wedding-goers in the end. An old man throws upon the bride's car and wedding-goers maize grains mixed with beans, coins and sugar squares. This is done so that the bride may enter th courtyard with "abundance".The man of the house grabs the bride by her shoulder, gets her off the carriage and takes her to the standing place. The bride has to step with the right foot first and walk on wheat grain, metal things, coins, on the purse of the man of the house, etc., things that have been laid down prior to her coming. The bridegroom stands facing her to see the bride and she tries to see him too. Before she enters the house the house her fingers are dipped in honey and sorbet and upon eentering he wets the upper threshold of the door with her fingers so that he may have a sweet life in her new house. After dinner, at a late hour, the women prepare the best for the bride with the entire dowry she hast brought along so that they may be "worn out" with the bridegroom. Finally, the bridegroom comes into the bedroom with the bride tanding on her feet. Before entering the room, the bridegroom greets his parents and is followed by the young of the street who "award" him with punches on hi back. The next day the bride the bride has her head tied with a kerchie. She is brought out to the courtyard and a boy leds her to the well. The bride gets a bucket of water from the well and the boy helps her wash her hands, and she follows likewise. The boy also deserves a gift. Right after the wedding the bride beomes a part of the family. upon a week her father in law takes her and, together her to go to pnt a night at her parents. Ater a month the brides faily take her to spend a week with them. When the bride goes for the firt time back to her family she takes them food consisting of two loaves of bread and pies, nd when she comes back rom there she fetches the same items. The pie is shared to everyone on the street.

Engagement
The engagment is an important act leading to marriage life. Marriage among the Albanian people was always considered holy and consequently the wish for a happy married life was very great. Since birth, through lullabies the child is cheered to get married with a beautiful bride or a good husband with a big wedding and many wedding-goers. The engagement today is locked when two young persons know each other very well and love each other. When they consent to such an act then the ceremony of engagement takes place according to tradition. At least the young should meet and talk with each other. Before the engagement was carried out quite differently. A low level of education and patriarchal life affected this. it occured that engagement were done at a very young age, and even before the child was born. Partner's age had no role to play and aquaintance between the engaged was not even considered. The engagement took place through the mediator who often having set the engagement eft with an award by the bridegroom's family. Ever since that day, the girl's amily begins to take an interest on the bridegroom and his family. Both parts are interested on the kinfolks, girl's or boy's uncles. If the father does'nt want to engage his daughter to that house he reasons that his daughter is sill young or that he is no match for it, as the boys family is richer or braver, but in no way by lowering the authority of the asker.If the girls father to give his daughter away to the family, he talks to the mediator and tells him to wait for the new day, a the bride has been given away only in the morning. The mediaor should have coffee and tobacco on him so during that night they will drink coffee and smoke tobacco sent from the "friend". When the girl's hand is given, the mediator takes the" Word" to the bridegrooms house. In previous times the custom was ti fire a gun so that the relatives and village will be notified that that person is locked in marital affairs with the other one. The mediator also appointed the day of feast. On that day a party is made for the guests the party lasts from dinner to the next day's lunch. In the party are invited the man of the girl's house and their close relatives. As soon as they enter the room, the guest are served coffee and tobacco. The first to take the coffee will wait until all the rests have been given their vc coffees and then he congratulates them for the girl and friendship between the two parts. Dinner and lunch pass in a joyful mood and depending from the economic position of the bridegroom's house, singers were also invited. rom that day on the man of the house has to take care of the bride's dowry. Earlier, the bride was sent a lot of dowry as from the time on she had to be ensured a basis for become able in the future to take care of clothing for her husband, children and husband's parents. Since the man of the bridegroom's house sends the entire dowry to the bride he goes to the "friends" to et the date for the wedding. The girl's father understands the intention of his friends coming, but he( boy's father) asks him as follows " Friend, where is our account?" If the girl's father is prepared then they will set the date of the wedding and on the meantime the girl's father gives him the thread(the threat was actually as longs as the girl's height)

Death
The death eremony too has its own traditional features in the area. When someone dies, at the deceased house all the brotherhood is gathered. First the closest relatives are notified and they decidde who should be sent the news and they determine the time of burial. The corpse is prepared by the closest of kin, and if it is a man that is done by men, nd a woman by the women. If the deceased died late in the day and his burial cannot take place on the same day, then he will be guarded by his relatives and family members of the same genre as he. The corpse is taken among the women and on the burial day the lamenting ladies, and in their absence sister, mother or some female close relative lament the dead by pointing out his virtutes ,good deeds, and the great pain felt by his loss. It is important to point out that until recentlywomen did not take part on the burial ceremony, but they visited the deceased grave next day. After death in the men's guestroom are recieved those who came condolences and burial. For accepting condolences stood some close relatives of the deceased (son,father,brother, etc.,), uncle and sommeone of his cousins. After the burial day 'seeing'(condolecenses) continue for some period, which has lately been reduced, lasting up to three months. Friends and well-wishers coming for condolesences left an amount of money on the tray as help for the family. After the "asking" ceremony has been completed and after the guests have been served coffee and cigarettes the host give them the word to speak in their speeches those coming for condolesences usualy have good words to say about the deceased, then they praise his family asking it to face up the pain.

Besa
In the biginning besa had a simple legal character but in time it rose to a spirtual and moral institutions of Albania. Application of besa began surely very early sometimes at the beginnings of tribal organization of Albanians and continues to exist even today in the form of a moral institution. Gjeçovi, seaking of besa, says that 'besa is securing an 'armistice' between two families in blood feud'. (Shtjefen Gjeçovi, Kanuni i Lekë Dukagjinit). It, besa, applied in particular in murder cases after which the family of the murder was compelled to isolation. In order to be able to carry out the works, particularly in the field, the murderer's family asks for besa through a third family intermediation. According to the Code of Lekë Dukagjini the granted besa lasted for 30 days. However by additional agreement it could be extended more. Besides a legal character among Albanians, besa has also attained a psychological and spiritual character. Already in very Albanian granting besa means that the aim for which it has been granted is reached, and if dealing with the secreat, it means it will never be revealed. It occurred that once granted, besa, was never violated even in cases when people risked their lives.