User:Blooming sunflower/Sonya Ballantyne/Willard1996 Peer Review

Peer review
This is where you will complete your peer review exercise. Please use the following template to fill out your review.

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing? (provide username) Blooming sunflower
 * Link to draft you're reviewing: Sonya Ballantyne

Lead
Guiding questions:


 * Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer? yes
 * Does the Lead include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic? yes
 * Does the Lead include a brief description of the article's major sections? yes
 * Does the Lead include information that is not present in the article? yes
 * Is the Lead concise or is it overly detailed? Great lead

Content
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added relevant to the topic? yes
 * Is the content added up-to-date? yes
 * Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong? no

Tone and Balance
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added neutral? a little editorialized and admiring of the film maker
 * Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position? Yes sometimes statments arent back up
 * Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented? A bit over representing the indigenous angle.
 * Does the content added attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another?

Sources and References
Guiding questions:


 * Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information? Yes
 * Are the sources thorough - i.e. Do they reflect the available literature on the topic? Yes
 * Are the sources current? Mostly
 * Check a few links. Do they work? Yes

Organization
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read? Yes but it could use another subhead
 * Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors? A few minor ones that might even come down to style
 * Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic? Yes

Images and Media
Guiding questions: If your peer added images or media NO not applicable


 * Does the article include images that enhance understanding of the topic?
 * Are images well-captioned?
 * Do all images adhere to Wikipedia's copyright regulations?
 * Are the images laid out in a visually appealing way?

For New Articles Only
If the draft you're reviewing is a new article, consider the following in addition to the above.


 * Does the article meet Wikipedia's Notability requirements - i.e. Is the article supported by 2-3 reliable secondary sources independent of the subject?
 * How exhaustive is the list of sources? Does it accurately represent all available literature on the subject?
 * Does the article follow the patterns of other similar articles - i.e. contain any necessary infoboxes, section headings, and any other features contained within similar articles?
 * Does the article link to other articles so it is more discoverable?

Overall impressions
Guiding questions:


 * Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete?
 * What are the strengths of the content added?
 * How can the content added be improved?

Overall evaluation
This article was very strong with very few spelling or grammar mistakes that could come down to just simple author style. The article is very good but it comes across as a bit admiring. The line that says she noticed a lack of representation needs a citation as it is a major claim. It's true but back it up. Some of the sentences are a bit long and the subject begins to get lost or ramble on a bit. This can't be helped at times but try to be better adding clauses and connecting phrases. I liked the writer director producer box as it is colorful. The article definetly needs an image, try TED talks as she has spoken at one in the past, there is a lot of press and media there, so a photo shouldn't be too hard to find.

The second paragraph is a bit long so I would suggest picking a mid point in her career and dividing it into two parts from there.

In conclusion add a photo another subhead and it's good to go.