User:Blue hand of doom/sandbox

Greetings Blue hand of doom,

I have read through your draft article and have a few suggestions. I have put these in place below your draft:
 * 1) Rename to Wagga Wagga Cattle Driving Act of 1902
 * 2) Opening sentences to establish topic and its importance
 * 3) Remove non-encyclopedic personal comments such as "...I was surprised" and "...I never knew..."
 * 4) Create links to existing articles
 * 5) Organize material to create a narrative
 * 6) Develop a conclusion - what changed with the bill
 * 7) Get references to support article

What else is needed - as you have used direct quotes from the committee, a source citation is needed for each quote. Any questions, ask me, here, on our talk pages or email.

Wagga cattle driving bill

In 1901 George Rudd of Wagga Wagga brought forward a petition to the Legislative Assembly of New South Wales, for a law to be created that would control the movement of stock through the township. The minutes of evidence from the proceedings of the committee make entertaining reading. The other great benefit of the minutes of evidence is the picture it gives of Wagga Wagga at the time, and I was personally suprised to read about buildings I never knew existed. George Rudd said : "I have seen many persons running into gateways out of danger" There were two different sale yards at the time : the Municipal Yards, and the Pastoral Hotel sale yards. Apparently it was common practice at the time for hotels to have sale yards right next door. Which also indicates not much thought was given to health and hygiene, as the Bungalow private hospital, according to the minutes of evidence, " immediately adjoins the Pastoral sale yards." There was no adequate drainage at the yards, and the movement of cattle through the streets caused other problems apart from personal injury- ripping up the road surface, and depositing large amounts of manure which then caused the potential health hazard of disease. Charles Cook of Wagga, in response to the question "what are your objections to cattle being driven through the streets of Wagga in the daytime ? " replied, " I always considered it was a menace to life and limb, and that it was insanitary."

The Municipal yards, situated "less than half a mile from the Post Office, were not as well patronised as the Pastoral yards. There was discussion of why the Pastoral yards were more popular : "You say that people go to the Pastoral Yards, for the sake of being near a public house ?" ( James Gormly, to James Beveridge, Grazier) Beveridge to Gormly : I say that the the people that are drinking go to the Pastoral Yards to look on. Gormly to Beveridge: "I suppose the people who drive stock are generally a temperate class of people ?" Beveridge to Gormly: I daresay they will take a dram now and then."

The stock route for cattle to get to the yards passed through Travers and Gurwood Street, and created havoc when passing the Gurwood Street School and other schools along the route. The students no doubt found the progress of the cattle noisy, distracting, exciting, smelly and dangerous. Can you imagine 200 head of cattle being driven along the wide and leafy spaces of Gurwood Street now ?! The last word should go to the unflappable George Rudd. When asked by Chairman Gormly, " you have never had to dodge the cattle ? " , Rudd answered confidently, "No, but I am an expert amongst stock."

Suggested changes
The Wagga Wagga Cattle Driving Act of 1902 was a law created to control the movement of livestock through the township of Wagga Wagga, New South Wales. Before this law was enacted, cattle and other stock were driven through the streets creating a danger to other people, damaging the roads, and making an insanitary mess.

In 1901, George Rudd of Wagga Wagga, brought forward a petition to the Legislative Assembly of New South Wales to have the problems solved. They set up a committee to investigate the problems and to draft suitable laws. The committee interviewed a number of local people. There were two different sale yards at the time: the Municipal Yards, and the Pastoral Hotel sale yards. Apparently it was common practice at the time for hotels to have sale yards next to them. Not much thought was given to health and hygiene, as the Bungalow private hospital, according to the minutes of evidence, "...immediately adjoins the Pastoral sale yards." There was no adequate drainage at the yards, and the movement of cattle through the streets caused other problems apart from personal injury- ripping up the road surface, and depositing large amounts of manure which then caused the potential health hazard of disease. Charles Cook of Wagga Wagga told the committee that driving cattle through the streets "...was a menace to life and limb, and that it was insanitary. When asked by Chairman Gormly,  "You have never had to dodge the cattle?", George Rudd answered confidently, "No, but I am an expert amongst stock."

The Municipal yards were situated less than half a mile from the Post Office, but they were not as well patronised as the Pastoral yards. There was discussion of why the Pastoral yards were more popular. James Gormly, the committee chairman, asked local grazier James Beveridge a few questions about this. Gormly: "You say that people go to the Pastoral Yards, for the sake of being near a public house ?" Beveridge: "I say that the the people that are drinking go to the Pastoral Yards to look on." Gormly: "I suppose the people who drive stock are generally a temperate class of people?" Beveridge: "I daresay they will take a dram now and then."

The stock route for cattle to get to the yards passed through Travers and Gurwood Street. This created havoc when passing the Gurwood Street School and other schools along the route. The students no doubt found the progress of the cattle noisy, distracting, exciting, smelly and dangerous.

The Act was passed in 1902, and made it an offence to take livestock through many of the streets. The law did not apply to milking cows, cattle teams or working bullocks. The laws were enforced and in November 1902 Robert McIntyre and George McNickle were fined for driving cattle along a prohibited street to the Pastoral Hotel Saleyards.