User:Blue maple tree/International Jewish Labor Bund/Middlebury2026 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username) blue_maple_tree


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Blue_maple_tree/International_Jewish_Labor_Bund&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template&veaction=edit&redirect=no


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * General Jewish Labour Bund

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

As of 4/6/2023 There is no draft to review. I have looked at the sandbox of this user as well as the actual wikipedia page looking to see if any edits were made there, and it seems as though no work has been done.

An updated review

Lead- The lead has not been updated but the lead that is already existing is pretty cohesive for the content. If it was desired then more information could be added regarding use of the press and bundism in the U.S.. There are also parts of the lead where other editors are looking for help collecting resources to support claim.

Content- The press section seems like the it could be incorporated better into a different topic or a clear connection needs to be made between the use of press and the movement's goals. I feel like the content under ideology was already available in the first version of the article with an adequate source. To improve upon this preexisting section, it would be helpful to find sources other than the one cited in the original page to further prove the point. It would also be helpful if wikipedia articles for topics or committees mentioned were cross linked such as the cities mentioned in the History section, Los Angles, Paris etc... I think defending the Jewish problem somewhere explicitly in the section of Bund beliefs versus Zionist beliefs would be beneficial to the argument so the reader is more aware of what you are trying to get at. It would be more clear if the subsections in The Bund in the US used references to World War 2 instead of the year to be a little more clear and concise for the reader. I also think that if the pre-end of ww2 is included then post ww2 should also be a section.

Tone- The tone used is neutral throughout the piece. The lack of sources makes it so I am unable to tell where information is being pulled from so I can't really access whether or not multiple points of view are expressed.

Sources- There are no sources included in this draft so I have no source information to review but I would recommend backing assertions using articles found in JSTOR or through the interlibrary loan. such as: https://www.jstor.org/stable/25776615?searchText=International+Jewish+Labor+Bund&searchUri=%2Faction%2FdoBasicSearch%3FQuery%3DInternational%2BJewish%2BLabor%2BBund&ab_segments=0%2Fbasic_search_gsv2%2Fcontrol&refreqid=fastly-default%3Ad9a6a7edd938876bbc8c7cc704c4d2d7, https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.2979/jss.2009.16.1.111?searchText=International+Jewish+Labor+Bund&searchUri=%2Faction%2FdoBasicSearch%3FQuery%3DInternational%2BJewish%2BLabor%2BBund&ab_segments=0%2Fbasic_search_gsv2%2Fcontrol&refreqid=fastly-default%3Ad9a6a7edd938876bbc8c7cc704c4d2d7, https://www.jstor.org/stable/4467559?searchText=International+Jewish+Labor+Bund&searchUri=%2Faction%2FdoBasicSearch%3FQuery%3DInternational%2BJewish%2BLabor%2BBund&ab_segments=0%2Fbasic_search_gsv2%2Fcontrol&refreqid=fastly-default%3Ad9a6a7edd938876bbc8c7cc704c4d2d7. Using key words like the date, location, and title to find reliable sources. If possible looking for primary accounts would also be useful.

Organization- I think Bund in the U.S. should be placed as a subsection in the history or directly following since it is more relevant there than at the end. Consistent capitalization is something that can be approved upon ie) "The international Jewish labor Bund was reestablished by Bundists who escaped and survived World War two." I think all part of The International Jewish Labor Bund should be capitalized as well as two in WW2 if you decide to write out World War Two. Otherwise grammar looks very good and concise. The subsections also look good and do get at the main points of the added sections.

Images and Media- N/A

Overall impressions- The content added has improved for the most part. The section titled ideology seems more concisely phrased in the published version of the article. All over the sources need to be found, improved, or added. Incorporating multiple sources into one section strengthens your article significantly. The sections added about the Bund in the U.S. definitely address gaps in information which is really great. I would recommend reaching out to a research librarian to help find primary sources as our religion department has a wealth of resources that may be applicable to this topic.