User:Bluebunny12233/User:Bluebunny12233/sandbox/Bryanna Jones Peer Review

General info
(Bluebunny12233)
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing: User:Bluebunny12233/sandbox - Wikipedia:
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists): :The current/original article isn't linked

Evaluate the drafted changes!
So far, I'm really enjoying the article! It goes through great detail of what exactly animals are going through not to mention despite the heavy topic you have kept a great neutral tone. As well as the fact that the sentences and paragraphs seem to hold just the right amount of context and length for the topic at hand, it has made me realize that I could undo unessential words in my own article to state my own facts more clearly instead of trying to make it lengthier.

One thing I would recommend for a sentence in the Cosmic Testing is just rephrasing it a bit and adding some periods to make it flow just a little more smoothly. But other than that, it a very strong sentence!

Original Sentence - "The SPCA de Montreal is against cosmetic testing because the animals will be put through having to be shaved to have chemicals dropped onto their skin and it will stay there for days, they will have chemicals dropped into their eyes and will also have the chemicals stay in their eyes"

Suggestion - "The SPCA de Montreal is against cosmetic testing on animals. The animals being tested on are put through having to be shaved and chemicals placed onto their skin where it will sit for days to be monitored. Not only that, the animals being tested on will also have chemicals drooped into their eyes to see if they have any reaction over an extended period of time."