User:Bluup/Structures built by animals/Clairebriar Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Bluup


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bluup/Structures_built_by_animals?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Structures built by animals

Evaluate the drafted changes
Positives of the Contribution:

I particularly liked your use of images! The visuals you added were very relevant to the article and they helped myself as a reader understand the information, especially since the article focuses on visual structures.

I liked how you took information provided in the original article and continued to expand from it, as seen in your addition of a section on paper wasps under the subcategory "protected habitats". In the original article, the image of a paper wasp starting her colony was added with no other information. With your added information, the purpose of the image is much clearer and provides the reader with a better understanding of its relevance. Your addition of information to the "transportation" subcategory also serve this purpose. Also, the addition of the information regarding cocoons to the "self-secreted materials" section was really insightful! After initially reading the article I never even considered cocoons as an animal-made structure, so reading your input was very eye-opening!

Your contributions are very neutral, and do not make any assumptions not supported by research and documentation. Information provided are cited in the readings.

Critiques of the Contribution:

When reviewing your references list, I noticed that the format of citation varied. The order of author names changes (i.e ref.1), some retrieval dates seem incorrect (i.e June 2011 in ref.1), and some seem to be missing a proper citation completely (i.e ref.10,12,14 Hansell, no title). I would suggest reviewing each of your citations and ensuring they have been inputted correctly.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to add an image of male fiddler crabs creating their pillars to attract females, especially since you mentioned this species twice in your contributions. It is a very visual idea and an image would be beneficial. I was able to find a few through Google Images, but perhaps there are already some existing ones in the Wikipedia image database. Also, it may be useful to note how pillar, or burrow, size serves as an indicator of claw size in the fiddler crabs, perhaps aiding in sexual selection within the species.

You add a lot of information regarding the process of how certain animals build the structures, but I would like to see more information as to why they do so. For example, in your section on beaver dams, why do the beavers build the dam to slow water flow? How does that increase their fitness? Does it localize prey, does it act only as a form of protection from predators, etc. These are questions which I believe could be expanded among and add balance to the article.

Try to link certain words, specifically named organisms, to the existing Wikipedia article about them using the second button in the toolbar (looks like a chain). You can do this for fiddler crabs, paper wasps, and silkworms!

I did notice a few spelling and grammatical errors, which I will list for you to fix if you chose to do so:


 * "camoflage" → "camouflage" (Subcategory Protected Habitats, paragraph 3)
 * "Traps can allow an organism to capture larger prey, and can also provide protection from predators or an area for mating, as seen with spiders" → "traps can allow organisms to capture larger prey, provide protection from predators, or serve as an area for mating" (improve sentence flow, reduces redundancy)

Finally, if I were to suggest further addition to the article, I would suggest including a sections explaining the costs of animal made structures. This is briefly hinted at in the paragraph before the subcategory "protected habitats". Your contributions, as well as the article as a whole, have focused on how the building of structures benefits the animal, but there are bound to be a cost-benefits relationship at play here and it would be interesting to explore

Key Improvements Needed:

Overall, your contributions have improved the existing article in regards to conciseness and provided information. The main take away from my critiques, besides a few grammar issues, is to simply expand on the information already provided and continue to relate it to the topic of animal behaviour. Further elaboration in some areas, and the addition of some images and connections, will greatly benefit your additions. By adding these little things here and there, your article will be better balanced and well-rounded. Also, be sure to double-check all of your references for formatting!

Notes:Excellent job researching information! I can tell you put a lot of time into developing your contribution!

~Clairebriar