User:Bmallery99/Developmental psychology/Zelki Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Bmallery99


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * 


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Developmental psychology

Evaluate the drafted changes
I see that you have not started on your draft yet, so I will do my best to make useful suggestions for the existing article.

Historical Antecedents: In the late 19th century, psychologists familiar with the evolutionary theory of Darwin began seeking an evolutionary description of psychological development; prominent here was the pioneering psychologist G. Stanley Hall, who attempted to correlate ages of childhood with previous ages of humanity. James Mark Baldwin, who wrote essays on topics that included Imitation: A Chapter in the Natural History of Consciousness and Mental Development in the Child and the Race: Methods and Processes, was significantly involved in the theory of developmental psychology. Sigmund Freud, whose concepts were developmental, significantly affected public perceptions. I think this paragraph could use some work. Some of the phrasing and punctuation are awkward, and I do not think the sentence about Freud fits because he was directly involved in the creation of developmental psychology and not an antecedent.

Psychosexual Development"Sigmund Freud developed a theory that suggested that humans behave as they do because they are constantly seeking pleasure. This process of seeking pleasure changes through stages because people evolve. Each period of seeking pleasure that a person experiences is represented by a stage of psychosexual development. These stages symbolize the process of arriving to become a maturing adult."This could be re-worked as well. Maybe something like: "Freud developed five stages that children undergo as they mature. Each stage represents a new kind of pleasure-seeking behavior, which evolve as the child grows." The paragraph spacing also feels a bit awkward to me in this section, but that could be a personal thing.

Theories of Cognitive Development:

You can probably change the title to just "cognitive development" since it is already in the "theories" section and only includes one theorist. Also consider giving brief descriptions of the four stages mentioned in this section.

Stages of Moral Development:"Kohlberg used the Heinz Dilemma to apply to his stages of moral development. The Heinz Dilemma involves Heinz's wife dying from cancer and Heinz having the dilemma to save his wife by stealing a drug. Preconventional morality, conventional morality, and post-conventional morality applies to Heinz's situation."Take out the second "to" in the first sentence. Also consider rephrasing the explanation of The Heinz Dilemma. As it stands, it reads very awkward. Italicize the stages in the paragraph above this one to maintain uniformity across all sections.

Stages of psychosocial development:

See italicization suggestion above.

Stages based on the model of hierarchical complexity:

Maybe try to found some more sources for this section to help explain this concept a bit more. I might just be dumb, but this section was really confusing to me.

Evolutionary developmental psychology:

The beginning of the first sentence should read "Evolutionary developmental psychology (EDP)" since it is henceforth referred to by the acronym.

Attachment theory:

"This tool has been found to help understand attachment, such as the Strange Situation Test and the Adult Attachment Interview. Both of which help determine factors to certain attachment styles."

Could be rephrased as "The Strange Situation Test and Adult Attachment Interview are both tools used to understand attachment as a whole, and to help determine factors in certain attachment styles."

"An example of anxious attachment during adulthood is when the adult chooses a partner with anxious-avoidant attachment."

This does not really make sense. There are two anxious attachment styles, so the phrasing is confusing. It might be better to explain what specific traits from an anxious-avoidant partner would cause problems for someone with and anxious-resistant style (which I assume is what they mean). Maybe read the source they provided or find a new one that can better explain what the author was trying to say.

Nature vs. Nurture:"'A significant debate in developmental psychology is the relationship between innateness and environmental influence in regard to any particular aspect of development. This is often referred to as 'nature and nurture' or nativism versus empiricism.'"Find a source for this."A nativist account of development would argue that the processes in question are innate, that is, they are specified by the organism's genes. What makes a person who they are? Is it their environment or their genetics? This is the debate of nature vs nurture."The order for this paragraph is reversed. It should start with what parts of the human development are in question (in this case, personality) first before it attempts any kind of explanation or argument. Move the explanations for the two arguments to the next paragraph."Today developmental psychologists rarely take such polarized positions with regard to most aspects of development; rather they investigate, among many other things, the relationship between innate and environmental influences. One of the ways this relationship has been explored in recent years is through the emerging field of evolutionary developmental psychology."I would move this part to the end and combine it with a rephrased version of the last sentence in the section to make things flow a little better.

Stability vs Change:

Make sure you have a citation for every fact included.

Cognitive development:

There are only two non-Wikipedia citations in this section. It would benefit greatly from additional sources.

Overall Notes:

This article is very long and already well-developed. I think your main tasks are going to be rephrasing certain sentences/paragraphs, correcting grammar, and double checking/finding sources. I noticed a significant drop-off of citations around the middle of the article. Those should probably be your first priority, since there is critical information that is not sourced at all.