User:Bobanny/Vancouver

Vancouver is a city in southwestern British Columbia, Canada. Both the City of Vancouver (pop. 587,891) and the Greater Vancouver Regional District (pop. 2,180,737) are referred to as “Vancouver,” named after explorer George Vancouver. It is the largest census metropolitan area in western Canada and the third largest in the country. Residents are known as “Vancouverites,” and their increasing numbers are expected to reach 2.6 million by 2020.

Vancouver is located between the Strait of Georgia and the Coast Mountains and is part of the larger area known as the Lower Mainland. Settlement of the area began in the 1860s during the aftermath of the Fraser Canyon Gold Rush. Incorporated in 1886, Vancouver began as a small logging and sawmilling port-town, but ballooned into a metropolitan centre in the decades following the arrival of the transcontinental railway in 1887. Its economy has traditionally relied on BC’s resource industries, especially as a shipping centre. The development of the Port of Vancouver made it the primary destination for export-bound Canadian grain by the 1920s and it has since become the busiest seaport in Canada and exports more cargo than any other port in North America.

The 2010 Winter Olympics will be held in Vancouver and nearby Whistler, and are expected to have a significant economic impact. The economy has diversified over the years and major industries now include tourism, high tech, and film production; Vancouver has been dubbed “Hollywood North” because it is the third largest film production centre in North America. It is consistently ranked in the top three most livable cities in the world, but has also the 56th most expensive city in which to live in the world and the second most expensive in Canada.

Comments:

For comparison, the existing intro is 336 words, the above version is 302 words. San Francisco's is only 179. Short is not necessarily a gauge of better, but I think the current intro is too cluttered with detail and disjointed as a result, and personally, I think SF's is too short. Article guidelines say up to 4 paragraphs for an article this size.

One of the main differences is that I removed unnecessary external references (Toronto, LA, NY, Panama Canal). Other things like the year of the population estimate don't need to be in the intro, and can be found in the reference cited. Of course, the wikilinks, citations, and pronunciation would go back in before it goes into the article. Bobanny 21:59, 22 February 2007 (UTC)


 * I think the bit about Hollywood North can be dropped, and not just because of phraseology; it's enough in this intro to say "film production" I think, if space is at a premium as seems to be the point. The connection between resource industries and shipping is only half-made; the other big sector dependent/part of the resource sector is brokerage/promotion/stock markets, whether for lumber or mines, plus of course head offices of same.  Didn't want to go adding/changing too much; would it be better to post secondary drafts as "sections following" rather than working on your draft above?Skookum1 22:51, 22 February 2007 (UTC)
 * I agree about Hollywood North - that's a detail for the main text not the intro. As for the resource=>shipping thing, hmm.. the intent there was just to segue from resources to the port. How about just "including shipping" instead of "especially shipping"? Bobanny 23:16, 22 February 2007 (UTC)

Here's my take on the lead, building on Bobanny's start: "Vancouver ( POSSIBLY ADD IPA GUIDE HERE ) is a city in southwestern British Columbia, Canada. With a population of 587,891 ( YEAR ), it is Canada's eighth( CHECK ) largest city. However, when considered as a part of the larger Greater Vancouver Regional District, the Vancouver area (pop. 2,180,737 YEAR ) forms the largest census metropolitan area in western Canada and the third largest in the country. ( DROP '2.6 MILLION' TEXT FROM THE LEAD AND INCORPORATE ELSEWHERE ) The city is named after British explorer George Vancouver, and residents are known as “Vancouverites'."

"Vancouver is located between the Strait of Georgia and the Coast Mountains, part of the larger geographical area known as the Lower Mainland. European settlement of the area began during the 1860s in the aftermath of the Fraser Canyon Gold Rush. Incorporated in 1886, the city's economy has traditionally relied on British Columbia’s resource industries, especially as a shipping centre. The arrival of the transcontinental railway in 1887 was the impetus for rapid growth as a metropolitan centre in the decades following. Further development of the Port of Vancouver transformed it into the primary destination for export-bound Canadian grain by the 1920s. It has since become the busiest seaport in Canada, exporting more cargo than any other port in North America."

"The region's economy has diversified significantly in the latter half of the twentieth century. Tourism, high technology, and film and television production are now major components ( WORDING ). Vancouver has been dubbed “Hollywood North”, reflecting its position as the third largest film production centre in North America. The 2010 Winter Olympics will be held in Vancouver and nearby Whistler, and are expected to have a significant economic impact( RELOCATE? ). The city is consistently ranked as one of the top three most livable cities in the world, but at a price. It has become Canada's second most expensive city in which to live, after Toronto, and the 56th most expensive city in the world."--Ckatz chat spy  02:30, 23 February 2007 (UTC)